Tony Kornheiser?!?! Ugh!

How appropriate for the season.
As you can see from the countdown clock on the right sidebar we are now under 5 hours until kickoff. While this is a time to be extremely excited - and I am now! - it is also a time for mourning. For most of you who aren't fortunate enough to attend the game like myself, that also means you are less than 5 hours away from being forced to listen to the ear-piercing and incessant noise that is Tony Kornheiser's voice. Here is a little snippet I found on the web today. It's from a while back and it is Tony giving his opinion on bloggers. Of course this hits home for your's truly and this is a fine example of one of the many reason's why I can't stand Kornheiser.
It's a real, it's a real mistake, and it happens. And I don't want to single anybody out in this area, but, you know, some people sit at home and they watch TV and they watch radio and they "blog" about certain "things," and they think they know what they're talking about, and they think they have sources. They have no sources. They make stuff up. They're toads. They're little toads. Actually, they're pimples on the behind of the greater body politic in this country and in this city (everyone in the studio cackles for no reason). And because, because they have access to airwaves and three or four people read them, they think, 'Oh, I'm very important.'
In fact, in fact, if a huge dumpster landed on their mother's house (cackling), and got all the way into the basement and crushed them (more cackling), nobody would care. Nobody would miss them. They provide nothing good, no service that's any good at all. They, they are, they are, they are sucking mole rats (more cackling), and that's the nicest I can be to them. But because, because they have a name, or, you know, because they get feedback from others, you know, they think they're very important. Randy and Paula think the show can't go on without them.
So now that I have warmed you up a bit for tonight with some of Tony's humour and wit (not), I deem this the official "Make fun of Tony Kornheiser" thread. Wanna rant about how much you hate him? Do it here. Wanna take an old "Yo Momma" joke and replace "yo momma" with Tony Kornheiser? Let it fly. Wanna talk about what you will do tonight while watching the game to avoid listening to Tony and gouging your eyes out with a dull spoon? We all wanna hear it. I will try and get things started.
Tony Kornheiser is so annoying/bald/ugly/stupid that...(you fill in the rest).
1 recs |
8 comments
|
Comments
Tony Kornheinie consideres himself to be a journalist and can't take criticism
wikipedia:
Kornheiser began his career in New York City, where he wrote for Newsday between 1970 and 1976, The New York Times between 1976 and 1979, and also worked as a teacher. Kornheiser joined The Washington Post in 1979 as a general assignment reporter in Style and Sports.4 He became a full-time sports columnist in 1984. He also wrote columns for the Post’s Style Section between November 12, 1989 and September 30, 2001.
Style? We’re supposed to take that seriously?
Stephen Rodrick wrote for Slate that Tony Kornheiser was allowed by ESPN to argue aimlessly on television and that his Washington Post column was being used to plug side projects rather than gather news from cited sources.19 Kornheiser called on Slate, then owned by The Washington Post, to fire Rodrick.20
After Kornheiser’s first game on Monday Night Football, Paul Farhi wrote in The Washington Post that Kornheiser had emphasized the obvious, played third fiddle, and was reminiscent of Dennis Miller “in a bad way.”21 Kornheiser responded saying that Farhi was a “two-bit weasel slug” and his own newspaper had back-stabbed him during an interview on The Dan Patrick Show on August 15, 2006.
Other criticism has come from Toronto Argonauts play-by-play commentator Mike Hogan, who said, “The thing that really bothers me is that Kornheiser doesn’t seem to know his place. If you’re there for comic relief, that’s one thing. But for God’s sake, leave the football analysis to guys who actually played the game.” Former NFL offensive lineman Mike Schad also criticized Kornheiser, saying that “when people watch a game, they want to learn something. I don’t need a guy who’s sarcastic or trying to be funny. I love listening to Ron Jaworski on Monday Nights. He played the game and has lots of good insight and Kornheiser just gets in his way.”23
Mike Golic, an ESPN colleague of Kornheiser’s, who had expressed skepticism regarding his prospects as an on-air analyst because he was never an athlete,24 said that his performance on MNF was “fine.” Kornheiser’s response was, “I just want to wring Golic’s neck and hang him up over the back of a shower rod like a duck.”
I don’t know why Golic doesn’t just meet him in the mens room (no witnesses) and put a little scare into him. And I don’t know why he is on MNF. He is not funny. Is that stating the obvious?
by stujo4 on Oct 6, 2008 3:02 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs
Kornheiser, the pimply little hairless toad
He is so frickin’ negative in every remark he makes and he has no knowledge of the game. He’s even said he doesn’t really like football. It seems that in ESPN’s thinking, there’s no need to have likable, knowledgeable people on their program because if we want to see football on Monday nights we must come to them. I like Jaws and Mike Trico. Why do they need three people in the booth? My dream is to watch a football game on TV without in-booth analysis and commentary. Have it be just like sitting in the stands with the stadium announcer calling out who did what. If I do decide to keep my TV volume on tonight, I think I’ll make it into a drinking game. Every time he says something negative about the Saints, their players (particularly Reggie), or their history as a franchise, I’ll take a shot. I’ll then be incoherently drunk by the end of the first half.
And, what is with that pathetic comb-over!? He is totally bald up there, but yet he combs over the 5-10 long hairs on the left side of his head over to the right. Why do people do this? Just accept that you have no hair up there! I was blessed with a full head of hair that doesn’t seem to be receding, so I can’t relate and understand this behavior. Can someone explain this to me!?
So concludes this Kornheiser rant. Tune in next time as I go off on Al Michaels. Same bat time, same bat channel.
Go Saints!!!!
by satchmo26 on Oct 6, 2008 3:36 PM CDT reply actions 1 recs
good idea about the drinking game, here's a shot at some rules
1 drink when he pounces on a single bad play as undeniable evidence of the complete failings of a player’s career (twice when its reggie)
drink the entire time he goes into some trancelike state to recite some shitty column-excerpt while completely disregarding the actual game
3 shots when he talks about his fantasy football team
1 drink whenever something good happens and he pisses all over it
1 drink every time Mike Tirico bursts into nervous, forced laughter just to keep things moving
i know theres more to be had…
by Alabama ManDance on Oct 6, 2008 4:55 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
Great rules!
From one Bama fan to another, I love your Voltron/Bama avatar. Can’t wait til the week LSU and Alabama play. I expect there might be a lot of back and forth on this site regarding that game. I hope we Bama fans don’t exiled after that game.
Go Saints!!!!
by satchmo26 on Oct 6, 2008 5:10 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
A few years ago...
There were some experimental network broadcasts as you described, no announcers just on the field sounds and the stadium announcer. I thought it was nice, but obviously it did not catch on.
by kssaints on Oct 6, 2008 3:51 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs
Tony Kornheiser is so annoying that...
in a celebrity death match with Oprah, I pull for the stupid ugly obnoxious miserable toad instead of the bald guy.
by MtnExile on Oct 6, 2008 4:29 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs
The only thing I liked about Tony
was that he would hang up on any caller who said, “How’s it going” or some other retarded greeting expressed during his radio show. I wish, WISH that the local radio people would do that. The necessity for callers to express some personal detail about themselves or greet the hosts makes the local radio shows impossible to listen to.
by xen-cuts on Oct 6, 2008 5:52 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs
FUJITA
Is Fujita going to play tonight? WTF? Why is he always injured????
by xen-cuts on Oct 6, 2008 5:58 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs





















