Plot to take over Da Chronic enters its final phase

by MtnExile on Jun 26, 2009 6:00 AM CDT

You made a mistake, my friend. No blogger would go on his honeymoon carrying his air conditioner.

So...

It's been nearly a year, and finally my nefarious plan is coming to fruition. My assistant Erin has played his part flawlessly...Dave suspects nothing. And I? I merely have insinuated myself into Saintsational's most trusted inner circle, eliminated my main rival Stujo4, and put myself into position to launch the most fiendish plan in the history of the Crescent City (at least, since the re-election of Mayor Nagin...I had nothing to do with that one, I assure you, but I admire its elegance. Yes.)

Now, from my secret lair in the Old City Ice House, I am prepared to take over Canal Street Chronicles for good...or evil, as the case may be. Because once the power of the Blogosphere is in my hands, I will inaugurate a little war. In a matter of hours, Sports Illustrated and Yahoo will have annihilated each other. We shall see a new power dominating the world!

But not just yet. First, I must pronounce some new rules...

To begin with, a change in the terms of service would be appropriate: all members must swear eternal fealty to my rule (you also get a free newsletter). Those who refuse will be banished to The Falcoholic, until I can think some more gruesome punishment. Come to think of it, I can't...to the Falcoholic you go.

Second, you must all make Canal Street Chronicles your home page. To do this, click on the icon at the top of the page that says "Submit to Evil Overlord" (beside "My Blogs).

Third, and most important, you must all drink the Kool-Aid (this week's flavor is grape). No more "cautious optimism"...your lukewarm, pusillanimous and cunctatory attitudes will no longer be tolerated! We shall triumph against all who dare to stand against us...so get with the frickin program already.

Finally, a personal message to coldpizza: do not try to stop me. There will be no Alexander Haig moment for you, my friend...and should you attempt to manufacture one, I look forward personally to exterminating you.

That is all. Happy blogging!

Poll

Do you willingly--nay, joyfully--submit to the rule of your new master? (Comes with free newsletter)

Yes, master

32 votes

Geez, Dave...what were you thinking?

42 votes

74 votes | Poll has closed

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Comments

Uh...

…you’re initiating an “evil takeover” from that bastion of artsy-fartsiness and hippiedom in Asheville, NC?

And you want us to take you seriously?

;-)

Hey, since I’m in the same state at least, can I be Number One, Dr. Evil? (Sorry, can’t take you seriously enough to be Blofeld)

:-D

I think I’d look good in an eyepatch….

by GSO Saints Fan on Jun 26, 2009 6:24 AM CDT reply actions

I for one

welcome our new overlord. Just please don’t make me toil in your underground sugar caves

by SaintBevo on Jun 26, 2009 7:01 AM CDT reply actions

This should be great

I think we should hold CSC for ransom from Dave….what should our objective be?

by asaint on Jun 26, 2009 7:03 AM CDT reply actions

anyone else notice Erin was a him….I can’t wait until Dave finds out.

by asaint on Jun 26, 2009 7:05 AM CDT reply actions

Curious...

I feel I’ve been misinformed all along. I for one didn’t even think that was legal in La. He is quite a handsome lady though.

by FuSoYa on Jun 26, 2009 9:51 AM CDT up reply actions

Erin Henderson

Dave’s soon-to-be bride plays OLB for the Vikings. Not only is he in cahoots with the enemy, it’s at a position of need. That dirty, no-good traitor!

by coldpizza on Jun 26, 2009 10:05 AM CDT up reply actions

Is Erin a free agent?

I don’t know about you, but i’d sacrifice a special teams slot for her.

by FuSoYa on Jun 26, 2009 10:12 AM CDT up reply actions

…or him

by FuSoYa on Jun 26, 2009 10:12 AM CDT up reply actions

I have one simple request

And that is to have sharks with frickin’ laser beams attached to their heads.
BEGIN THE UNNECESSARILY SLOW-MOVING DIPPING MECHANISM!

by coldpizza on Jun 26, 2009 8:33 AM CDT reply actions

Free Stujo

He’s done nothing to you. Let him go and he will do you no harm.

And…………… Can I be Assistant Regional Manager?

Who Dat?...... Drew Dat ! ! !

by Big and Easy on Jun 26, 2009 8:36 AM CDT reply actions

assistant TO THE regional manager is available

"Knock 'em the (- -) out!" - G Dub

by HansDat on Jun 26, 2009 6:07 PM CDT up reply actions

Thank You Hans

It took all day to cash in on that setup.

Who Dat?...... Drew Dat ! ! !

by Big and Easy on Jun 26, 2009 6:13 PM CDT up reply actions

you're welcome

Happy to oblige – I would’ve done it sooner but I was at work all day…

"Knock 'em the (- -) out!" - G Dub

by HansDat on Jun 26, 2009 6:26 PM CDT up reply actions

Sainsational

Saintsational: Do you expect me to get married?
MtnExile: No Mr. Dave, I expect you to die…

MtnExile: Man has climbed Mount Everest, gone to the bottom of the ocean. He’s fired rockets at the Moon, split the atom, achieved miracles in every field of human endeavor… except crime!

….hell I’ll drink the cool-aid, I have nothing better to do on a Friday during the offseason

by Ditka'sGhost on Jun 26, 2009 9:30 AM CDT reply actions

Excellent…

This is OUR year!

by MtnExile on Jun 26, 2009 9:38 AM CDT up reply actions

I can't get enough of the Kool-Aid

I’m a Kool-Aidaholic. Bring it on and don’t hesitate to press the big, red button of world destruction if Mr. Bond (Dave) suddenly appears with his black and gold Walther PPK to shoot fleur de lis-shaped bullets at you. I’m all for the uncautious optimism. Setting myself up for late-December heartache is what I’m accustomed to as a Saints fan.

Go Saints!!!! Deuce may be gone, but he will never be forgotten.

by David "Satch" Kelly on Jun 26, 2009 9:52 AM CDT reply actions

While it may be too late

to reverse the damage done by MtnExile’s sinister subterfuge, let it be known that an emergency séance to contact the ghost of Fetch Monster has commenced. The Ouija board just spelled out W-O-O-F. Mr. Bigglesworth, you may be in grave danger.

by coldpizza on Jun 26, 2009 9:59 AM CDT reply actions

Fear not, oppressed Saints fans

I’ll be all around in the blogosphere. I’ll be ever’-where – wherever you can read. Wherever there’s a fight so Saints fans can not be oppressed by a MtnExile, I’ll be there. Wherever there’s a stujo who doesn’t like grape Kool-Aid, I’ll be there. I’ll be in the way guys yell when they’re tired of rooting for the Saints and want to start followin’ a real team like the Falcons – I’ll be in the way Dave laughs when he realizes his site’s been taken over a guy with a fluffy white cat for a pet. An’ when MtnExile is undone by an overly complicated mechanism of torture and the site’s turned back over to you – I’ll be there, too.

by Dave Choate on Jun 26, 2009 10:20 AM CDT reply actions

Very funny

Gotta love any Three Amigos reference. But wait! Heaping praise on you may get me in trouble with our new phantom overlord. Uhhhhh……CURSE YOU DAVE THE F! Tread not on our holy land! May the curses of a thousand hells rain down upon you! :-)

Go Saints!!!! Deuce may be gone, but he will never be forgotten.

by David "Satch" Kelly on Jun 26, 2009 10:37 AM CDT up reply actions

I think the smiley face negates that

by Dave Choate on Jun 26, 2009 10:46 AM CDT up reply actions

i'll join...on one condition

I get to have your cat to give to my fiance so she’ll quit asking for one! That is the only way!

Superbowl bound!!!...I hope? Go Saints! :D

by skinnykinney on Jun 26, 2009 10:33 AM CDT reply actions

This is great

I might never come back

Wanna say something? Sign up! It's free!

by Dave Cariello on Jun 26, 2009 1:41 PM CDT reply actions

Once the Coup is Complete

what to do with Dave?

My vote is to bury him under the visitor’s sidelines so we can shift all the “voodoo mojo” from the Saints and finally point it in the correct direction — at every enemy!! How else to counter building the Dome over a burial ground!! Feed the Gods what they want, the kind, the innocent, the newly-married — Dave “Saintsational”!!

Finally, we can give balance to the 33-years of unexplained “bad happenings” (such as … Erxleben dropping the snap and then throwing the ball backwards to lose that game to the Falcons!!) at the Dome!!

How else to explain the momentary lapse of Drew Bress, about as accurate a passer as ever could be, suddenly getting righteous and underthrowing his target on the last play of last season to ensure he did not break Marino’s record.

Of course, the list of unexplained events is very, very long … time to turn the tables. We will all be eternally grateful to Saintsational for the final sacrifce!!

by Dempsey63 on Jun 26, 2009 1:42 PM CDT reply actions

Sir Lord Evilness MtnExile! Your evil plan is so .....EVIL!!

Please Sir Lord and Master let me be your servant to spread forth your evil minions to the european shores!……….but only if I get that free newsletter you were talking about. :-)

by shecky on Jun 26, 2009 7:40 PM CDT reply actions