Idiot's Guide to Tearing Tickets

I deal with the public every day, and believe me, the general public is totally stupid. I promise you people will call that number and show up at the next game with improperly torn tickets.

yea is this the new orleans saints, i’m coming to the game tonight…have you seen my keys…got em…how do i properly start my car…use what keys??…o yea…
you get the point

Clueless_in_Covington: “My tickets don’t appear to be perforated and I’m thinking about using a scissors. Can you please send me a schematic detailing where I should snip?”

NO_Saints_Customer_Service:

Clueless_in_Covington: “Thanks, I think I’ve got it now.”

I’m honestly not surprised in the least.

That being said . . .

“. . . the perforation above the barcode is a safety measure to ensure the validity of the ticket in the event the Superdome’s scanning system is ever temporarily out of service.”

Sooooo essentially when the equipment is down they accept the stub without the barcode.

Kind of reminds me of SNL. "Cheeseburger, Cheeseburger, Cheeseburger, Cheeseburger, Cheeseburger. No fries . . . chips. No Coke . . . Pepsi. "

In the end they run out of cheeseburgers and give the guy what they initially said he couldn’t have.

Are we truly to believe the perforation by the bar code is a “feature” to help the customer in the event of a barcode scanner outage? Are these tickets made of such impenetrable material as to have the only way to rip them is to have a perforation?

There’s no reason for the most important part of the ticket to be able to easily come off, and if by all means you still want to do that, how about flipping the top row of tickets around 180 so the barcodes for the top and bottom row are on the outside (away from where you need to tear to separate tickets.

Does it really take less effort to rip the barcode off in an outage than it would take to simply rip the ticket in half? They’d probably waste more time dealing with the perforation.

at an entire sheet of 10 tickets and ALL the lower tickets include a bar code on the bottom, at what point does logic dictate that the upper tickets would NOT include a bar code?

Further, why was I able to easily reason my way through this, when faced with the same dilemma? One would think that the mere presence of ANY bar code would trigger the question “if I exclude this portion, then WTF are they going to scan?”

This opposed to the surreal counter-debate “maybe they just scan tickets during the SECOND half of the season.” Or better yet, “what’s this little zebra thingie for?”

Effing morons.

Oh where to begin . . .

-A few days ago our chow hall burned down due to a grease fire. The 30 workers in and around the area were unable to put out the fire, even though there were fire extinguishers every 10-20 feet. One guy actually ran outside and got a bucket to pour water (on a grease fire mind you). No one thought to use an extinguisher.

-The government spends millions each year on training members of each branch of service to speak foreign languages in order to effectively do a multitude of jobs that require linguistical expertise. Then they send Korean linguists to Iraq, Russian linguists to South America, and Arabic linguists anywhere but the middle east.

-In Alaska I saw a guy touch a pole to see if his hand would freeze to it . . . which it did, touch a yukon stove(used to heat tents in the arctic) to see if it was hot . . . which it was, look directly into light sources with night vision on to see if really blinds you temporarily, which it did (temporary is a very relative term), run around our tent naked on a bet that he couldn’t make it all the way around before he collapsed, which he did (3 feet of snow naked at 60 below zero, he never had a chance). What’s sad? SAME GUY, SAME DAY. I pray everyday I don’t get another soldier like that.

I could go on, I have tons.