You may recall that I have a certain... awkwardness, shall we say, in social situations with celebrities. I am starstruck. I've insulted many people, mostly inadvertantly and unintentionally due to my need to say SOMETHING to them, usually the wrong thing. Several instances with local celebrities, but my worst may have been with former Colt and Seahawk tight end Mark Bell (twin brother of Chiefs DE Mike Bell) where, after a minute or so of polite chatter and my mentioning (name dropping) a mutual friend, a lull in the conversation occurred and I blurted out "So, have you spent all of that NFL money?" He looked at me as if I had just farted and said "No, not all of it. Excuse me." and turned away. Which was very polite for a pretty good sized former football player.
So I knew I was going to see Billy Miller pregame on Saturday and I knew I was going to have to say SOMETHING to him, so I prepared a question, asking about his health and if he expected to play next year. As a backup question, I was going to ask about health and current status of his former teammate Mark Campbell. Didn't need it, Billy was very gracious and I thanked him and moved along. Unexpectedly, right on to former Saint WR and current Saint organization guy Michael "Beerman" Lewis, who is, surprisingly, about 5' 7" in dress heels. Not kidding. I thought he was bigger than that. But I didn't say that. I said "Got time for one more?" as he was trying to get out of there after signing a couple of autographs. He was also gracious and began signing my ticket stub without a word. Unfortunately, there was the dreaded lull. Just wait patiently and quietly until he finishes and then say thank you? Oh no. I say "Uhhh... I can't remember your uniform number.... Eighty ssss......" Perhaps you think that doesn't seem so bad, but you should have seen his face. He frowned and shook his head as if to say, "Boy's a fool." Then he handed me the stub. Suzjo4 does not have a steady hand with the camera, but her timing is pretty good. She snapped it right when I said "Oh YEAH!! 84!!!!" and Beerman gave me a big smile, like "Boy's a fool but he IS a Saints fan!" I thanked him and left with my prize. Good thing it ended there, or it could have been "So what are you, about 5 -6 or something?" or "That's a BAD suit, Beerman." No, it was a good day.