Drew and Brittany Brees to Change Name of Newborn Son
by Dave Cariello on Oct 24, 2010 7:07 PM CDT
in New Orleans Saints Satire
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PrintJust four days after the birth of his second son, Bowen, and shortly after throwing four interceptions against the Browns in arguably the worst game of his Saints career, quarterback Drew Brees announced that he and wife Brittany will be changing the name of their new bundle of joy.
"I'm a man of faith and I can't help but believe this was a sign," Brees said. "I mean what are the chances, right? I name my son Bowen and then a twelve year veteran named Bowens ties his career interception production in one game against me."
You heard right. Almost unbelievably, two of the quarterback's four interceptions against the Browns today were picked off by a linebacker named David Bowens. Both were returned for touchdowns, also a feat the linebacker had never achieved until now. Indeed, the coincidence seems too bizarre to ignore.
The proud parents were undecided on a name for their new addition right up to the last minute, even asking for suggestions via Drew's Twitter account just days before. The final decision didn't come so easy.
"Brit was opposed to the name 'Bowen' at first. It was what I really wanted all along but had to lobby hard to get her to go along with it," admitted Brees. "I'm thinking maybe we should have just listened to her."
So now they're going back to the drawing board and re-considering some of those fan suggestions they received the first time around.
"The team, the fans and this city depend on me to play at my best. Today, obviously, I didn't do that and I let everyone down." Brees continued, "If there is something within my power that I can do to make sure that doesn't happen anymore, I'm going to do it. Even if that is changing my sons name."
"Fortunately, I think my wife understands. She knows how competitive I can be and how serious I take the game of football," responded the quarterback when asked what his wife Brittany thought about the name change. "She never liked 'Bowen' anyway. It's a win all around"
**Disclaimer: This is obviously a fictional story. All events and quotes have been made up. None of this is true. Just joking here, people.**
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PS - hahahahahaha
felt like I was reading an ace piece from the Onion
nicely played, Dave
It's gonna be a great year.
I thought the same thing.
Very good!
"It's better to burn out than fade away."
by SaintsFan-KS on Oct 24, 2010 7:27 PM CDT up reply actions
Boom rec'd it!
Very Onionesque.
"He's every rich kid you knew in college who read The Fountainhead once and loved the idea that sharing is immoral."
Holy crap that was good Dave.
I thought it was real.
Week 8 matchup: Steelers
Week 8 motto: Stop making me post facepalm pictures!!!
Timestamp: 8:07 p.m. Eastern
Obviously, he thought he was throwing to Bowen, not Bowens.
—MtnExile
Give Dave credit, he took the idea and ran with it. (Do I still get a discount?)
It was worth the wait.
Didn't see that M-E
Actually what inspired it was a text message from Kevin Held during the game.
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by Dave Cariello on Oct 24, 2010 7:24 PM CDT up reply actions
Oh, I wasn't serious
Just a joke. And you’re still welcome. (You didn’t answer my question.)
It was worth the wait.
(you were already getting one.)
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by Dave Cariello on Oct 24, 2010 8:22 PM CDT up reply actions
You had me dead on with that one.
Sad thing is I was agreeing.
Missing home and my Saints.
by Brazil meets LA on Oct 24, 2010 7:22 PM CDT reply actions
haha good one
he should name him Devery so maybe he might start catching the ball.
Peyton, I can eat Oreos faster than you!!!!
by mknkachow on Oct 24, 2010 7:45 PM CDT reply actions 1 recs
Well that was amazing!
Thank you Dave that just made my day, and after that atrocious game I didnt think I would be saying that for a week.
Appreciate that.
It means a lot.
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by Dave Cariello on Oct 24, 2010 7:56 PM CDT up reply actions
Holy crap.
I went from depressed about the fail of a game to laughing my arse off. Thank you Dave, that was exactly what I needed. Pure brilliance!
Next week he'll announce he's changing the name again
After Harrison Farrior Polamalu Timmons Brees suddenly becomes a curse.
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OT:SNF
Matt Flynn with the Fake FG pass…ring any bells?
Week 8 matchup: Steelers
Week 8 motto: Stop making me post facepalm pictures!!!
Who put the disclaimer on here?
I’m embarrassed to be a Saints fan today. And this disclaimer’s lameness makes me even more embarrassed.
I prefer it without the disclaimer, too
But, others wanted one or said they did.
Can’t win. Just like the Saints….
I want the gas pedal down...
by CrazyforColston on Oct 24, 2010 9:19 PM CDT up reply actions 1 recs
interesting
And this disclaimer’s lameness makes me even more embarrassed.
That’s what Orson Welles said before the War Of The Worlds broadcast, so they took the disclaimer off.
"He's every rich kid you knew in college who read The Fountainhead once and loved the idea that sharing is immoral."
by stujo4 on Oct 24, 2010 10:02 PM CDT up reply actions 1 recs
When I read the headline..
I thought for sure this was a joke. I had actually said the same thing during the game yesterday. But as I read Dave’s story, it is so well written (as many pointed out) I thought maybe it was serious. So I needed the disclaimer as proof it was a joke. As previously noted, it reads very much like the stories on “The Onion,” but we all know those are fiction…..right?
"It's about time that something good like this happened." - Drew Brees
He should change the kid's name to Farrior.
Wait …
"I was not on the boat in question" -Darren Sharper
Man, I'm glad I figured it out before I woke my wife up.
Good one, Dave.
"Don't ever sell your saddle, cause life's a long, long ride."- Randy Travis
I thought this was real at first...
Lifelong Arizona Cardinals/Chicago Bears fan [I have always lived in Arizona, dad is from Chicago].
I can't stand fair-weather/bandwagon fans, stick with your team(s), throughout the good and the bad. And don't switch to whichever team wins the Super Bowl each year.
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