Super bowl Hangover: Bye Week

(Scene: Jabari Greer, Roman Harper, Usama Young, Jahri Evans, and Marques Colston are being led by Reggie Bush in Bush's home. Bush is showing them around.)

Bush: So this is the Foyer, I have some awards that I earned since I was young in here. (shows the pedestal where the Heisman trophy stands) And here is my Heisman..ain't it beautiful?

Greer: Umm, didn't you return the Heisman Reg?

Bush: (stares at Greer until Greer begins to feel uncomfortable, then continues) Yeah, I worked hard to get this trophy...back. Anyway let's go into the living room where I got my new TV for us to watch the Falcons game tonight.

(the group heads into the living room through the hallway)

Greer: This is a nice house Reg. When did you get it?

Bush: Oh, I got it when I moved to Nola back in 2005.

Greer: But uh, you weren't drafted until 2006.

Bush: (Stares much more angrily at Greer, Greer begins to look around expecting someone to notice but no one does.)

Bush: So, yeah. Let's go into the living room, the only way to get there however is to JUMP!

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(Evans is the only one who jumps)

Bush: False Start # 73, offense, 5 yard penalty repeat first down.

(group erupts in laughter)

Evans: Come on guys, I haven't had a penalty in two games.

Harper: Yeah, too bad about those other 7 games.

(Colston opens mouth to defend Jahri, but decides to keep the thought to himself)

Evans: (sighs and recites poetry to himself)

Bush: So here it is! My new 75 inch theater TV with surround sound and recliners all around the room. Take a seat guys and enjoy.

Young: Wow! I've never seen anything this big before!

Harper: That's what she said.

(Greer and Evans snicker)

Young: I don't get it.

Bush: Alright guys, sit down and let's watch the game.

(TV buzzes to life as inappropriate images flash on the screen)

Evans,Greer,Harper: WOH!!! REGGIE! REGGIE! REGGIE!

Bush: Thats..Um..yeah..um (changes channel to NFL network), I don't know how that channel..um.

Young: What was that guy eating?

(Doorbell rings)

Bush: COME IN!

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Sharper: Hey guys! I'm here.

Group: Hey man!

Sharper: Lets watch some dirty birds get their wings clipped!

Bush: Alright man, take a seat.

Young: Wait, I want to know what that guy was eating!

TV: Touchdown Ravens!

Group: YEAH! Here we go!

Harper: Man I'm hungry. Usama, go get me some nachos.

Young: I don't want to, I'm not a rookie you can't boss me around.

Harper: I'll tell you what that guy was eating.

(Usama hurrys into the kitchen to make Harper some nachos.)

TV: Field Goal Falcons!

Group: (groan)

Evans: I wonder if Brees is watching the game.

Bush: Good question, let me call him.

(Picks up phone, calls Brees.)

(Brees answers phone)

Brees: (in frustrated and angry tone) WHAT!?

Bush:..Hey..just wondering if you're watching the game?

Brees: The game?

Bush:..Yeah man.

Brees: Sorry Reggie, I'm too busy BEING RESPONSIBLE. Brittany took off for a week to the spy since I finally have a week off to take care of the kids. Baylen won't stop chewing everything. (Dog shrieks in background) (Brees sighs) and he just bit the dog's tail. Bowen won't stop crying, no matter what I do, and for the LOVE OF GOD PUT YOUR DIAPER BACK ON!! (Baylen takes off running into the kitchen) I gotta go. (Brees hangs up)

Bush:.......Man ever since he had this second kid, he's been such a primadonna.

(Colston opens his mouth to defend Brees, but instead decides to keep watching TV.)

TV: Touchdown Falcons!

Group: (Yells at TV)

Harper: That better be overturned, he got stopped short. HEY USAMA, WHERE'S MY 'CHOS?

Young: Right here, sorry got burned when I was in my zone.

(Harper waits for Young to get the irony of the statement. Young never gets it.)

Harper: Alright whatever, just give me the nachos. (Receives Nachos), YES!!

Young: Now what was that guy eating.

(Harper whispers into Young's ear)

Young: Whats a p****?

Sharper: So much to teach the young one.

Harper: Yeah, the master here was on a boat with all that.

Sharper: Uhh, I was not on the boat in question.

TV: RAVENS FUMBLE! Falcons recover!

Group: BOOOOO

(Doorbell rings)

Bush: COME IN!

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Williams: HEY GUYS!!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?

Greer: Watching the game..coach.

Williams: THATS GREAT, I LOVE GAMES.

(Ravens blitz on play, sack Ryan)

Group: YEAH!!

Williams: DID YOU SEE THAT SACK!! AND THAT BLITZ WAS A-MAZ-ING!! THERE IS NOTHING...NOTHING BETTER THAN A BLITZ AND A SACK, IT MAKES ME FEEL SOOOO GOOD!!

Greer: Uh, coach? You need a towel?

Williams; NO I'M GOOD. THANK YOU FOR THE OFFER GREER!

(Doorbell rings)

Bush: COME IN!

(In walks Hartley, Morestead, Porter, Chase Daniel and Moore)

Moore: Hey I brought Hot dogs!

Hartley: I brought spices!

Porter: I brought gumbo!

Daniel: I brought Jack Daniels!

Bush: Chase, we can't drink man.

Daniel: Don't worries mans, it all be good.

Bush: Are you drunk?

Daniel: Yor face hahahahaha

Bush: Just go sit in the corner and eat some gumbo.

Hartley: Sorry, we picked him up like this.

Porter: I think he feels guilty about something, I'm not sure.

Sharper: Hey Tommy!

Morstead: I told you, I don't like that name.

Sharper: And the cow still wants you to call her back, but since that's not happening.

Morstead: Look I don't care what you think..I did.....

(Morstead is interrupted by the beatings coming from the front door)

???: LET ME IN DAMMIT!!

Bush: Who is it?

???: THE DOMINOS GUY, DOES IT ***** MATTER!? LET ME IN!!

Bush:(Looks through the peep hole, then lets the man in.)

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Payton: Now. Listen to me you sick demented creatures from hell. I didn't say anything when my toilet was backed up when Evans was visiting, I didn't say anything about all those broken windows when Harper came over and couldn't catch any of those wonder balls my son was throwing, I didn't say anything when a "woman" called my wife and asked her "Where was she supposed to meet me at". No, I let you guys get away with a LOT of crap, but now I'm calling you out. Because one of you, has done something horrible, so horrible, I don't think I could live with myself if I had done it.

Greer: What was it coach?

Payton: (holds up a small item) This...is...Big red...Why did all of my juicy fruit become Big..RED.

Sharper: You are mad because your gum is gone? Geez coach, take a vicodin.

Payton: THAT IS A LIE!! Now, which one of you sick ***** did it huh??

(Room remains silent)

(Chase Daniel gets up (barely) walks over to Payton)

Daniel: Hartley did it.

Hartley: What!? No..I..

Payton: GAHHHHH YOU FAT PUNK!!!

(Scene End)