FanPost

The Gris Gris Man's Spell On The Seahawks

Deep in the swamp where the moss hangs low,

I call to raise the spirit of Ms Marie Laveau,

Oh Mother Voodoo and sorceress of my art,

I stick my needles deep into a Seahawk dolls heart,

I have my pot boiling up my powerful potion,

When I read this spell aloud my voodoo will be set in motion,

I will use cracked up monkey bones to bother someone’s wrist,

I rub the fat out of a possum on their shoes to make them slip,

I will pluck out every feather from those West coast birds,

Seahawks will not soar when I speak my magic words,

So into the dome they will fly very slow,

And after sixty minutes they will fly no mo,

Using magic pliers I will snap their wings,

And rub my magic potion in their eyes till it stings,

I’ll take der lil feet and I’ll snap off all their toes,

I’ll dangle their beat up carcass under my alligator’s nose,

Each and every player will this spell for sure affect,

Their looking for a win instead will have a train wreck,

The New Orleans Saints under Arch Angel Brees,

Will bring those stinky birds down to their skinny little knees,

I hope they don’t spit up any fishes on da field,

If they do I’ll beat their feather butts until they holler and squeal,

So all you voodoo lovers both da living and da dead,

Listen to my words and upon the Seahawks this potion I will spread,

They got a little monkey dressed up all in pink and teal,

He runs around our page and squeaks his little squeals,

But when our beloved Saints finish with his fish eating birds,

There won’t be nuthin left but some feathers and their turds,

So come this Sunday’s game let my will and voodoo reign,

And when the game is over the Seahawks will never fly again!

            

GRIS GRIS MAN, VOODOO MD

VOODOO SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING:
Any and all Spells & hexes are performed specifically for the sole purpose of generating an "L" for the opposing team!  This includes but is not limited to, fumbles, penalties, in completions, pick 6's, missed field goals, strips, trips, bungles, gaffs, brain farts, Come on Man's, or otherwise benign occurrences.

PETA DISCLAIMER:  No curses were used and no animals were hurt too bad or killed excessively in the making and or casting of this spell!

MENTAL ALERT!  SEAHAWK FANS!   DO NOT READ THIS SPELL, IT CAN CAUSE YOU TO THINK ABOUT VOODOO AND COULD DAMAGE YOUR PSYCHE!  SUBLIMINAL MESSAGES CONTAINED WITHIN, READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!

This FanPost was written by a reader and member of Canal Street Chronicles. It does not necessarily reflect the views of CSC and its staff or editors.

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