(Scene begins: Sean Payton is running drills with the entire Saints team.)
Payton: So when you see the blitzer coming through the hole, I want one of you to go and plug it up. Got it?
O-line: Got it coach.
Payton: So when you see that, I want you to run in between the hole where you should see the Tight ends out in front to protect you, ok Pierre?
Thomas: Yes sir coach.
Payton: Good, I'm glad you were running hard this past weekend, keep it up!
Thomas: I will coach. I will run harder than I did this past weekend. I want to prove I can still be a workhorse.
Payton: That's great son. Now let me just..(stapling noise) there we are.
Thomas: What the hell did you just staple to my ear?!?!
Payton: Oh it's nothing.
Brees: It says "3rd round pick"?
Payton: Ok, it's a price tag.
Thomas: What the f--k?!?
Payton: Ok so, make sure you and Thomas are out there to protect Pierre at the second level. Ok?
Shockey: Got it coach.
Payton: Ok, that's enough for today. Let's go check up on what Gregg is telling the defense.
(The offense goes to meet up with the defense)
Williams: SO TO RECAP: BLITZ BLITZ BLITZ, BLITZ BLITZ BLITZ BLITZ BLITZ. THEN BLITZ BLITZ BLITZ BLITZ BLITZ BLITZ BLITZ BLITZ BLITZ. ANY BLITZES?
Shanle: What was that last part?
Williams: BLITZ BLITZ BLITZ.
Vilma: I have a question, what do you want me to do, if I see the Ravens in a 3 wide set, and we are about to blitz 6 but we are blitzing Harper, so we are going to have a linebacker lined up with a receiver. Do you want me to check into a different play? Or call a time out so we can get into a different formation?
Williams: OK. HERES WHAT I WANT YOU TO DO JON. INSTEAD OF HAVING THE LINEBACKER RUNNING ALONG WITH THE RECEIVER, JUST BLITZ HIM. IN FACT, I'M JUST GONNA CALL BLITZ ALL EVERY PLAY, AND IF YOU WANT, YOU CAN DO THAT "COVER RECEIVER" THING YOU WANT TO DO.
Vilma: (sigh) alright coach.
Payton: Will the blitzing get us a turnover?
Williams: UHHH SURE!
Payton: Great, then blitz however many you want.
Brees: Uhh, you sure about that coach?
Payton: Drew, learn to trust Gregg. It won us the super bowl right?
Brees: Yeah, I guess you're right.
Payton: Come with me, I'm gonna go check on the special teams.
(Brees and Payton leave as Gregg is now break dancing)
(Brees and Payton arrive at the Special Teams practice location only to find it empty sans McMahon)
Payton: What the hell? Where is everyone?!
McMahon:....(continues reading his people magazine)
Brees: Greg, where are all the special teamers?
McMahon: Did you know Miley Cyrus was doing a bong?
Payton: GREG! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!?!?
McMahon: (sniffs) what do I smell?
Payton: Dammit I love eating beans ok, can people stop pointing that out? I swear you are all like Hartley.
(Scene change: Hartley is seen walking towards a city)
Hartley: A city! Thank God. I can't handle the wilderness anymore. Psychopaths trying to skin me, Cannibals trying to eat me, and gay cowboys trying to have their way with me. I can get back to a city and fly back to NOLA. Let's just see what city this is....No, it cannot be. Any other city please..Not this God-forsaken place. Damn You! God damn you all to hell!
(camera pans back to reveal the sign " 12 miles till Atlanta")
Hartley: I have to hurry and get out of here before...No..No get back.. AHHHHHH...
(Scene revert: Payton is talking to McMahon)
McMahon: No I smell...(pulls out juicy fruit)
(Payton snaps to attention)
McMahon: Does Paytey want juicy?
(Payton wags his tail)
McMahon: Does Paytey want juicy?
(Payton wags his tail much furiously)
(McMahon throws the gum, and Payton runs after it)
Brees: How did I not know this trick? I could have used it after the Browns game.
(Scene change: Usama Young is sitting on a bench with Sharper, both are enjoying Po-boys.)
Sharper: So you still think women are edible huh?
Young: Yeah, I saw Reggie do it.
Sharper: So what would you do if I ate one too?
Young: You did?
Young: What did it taste like?
Sharper:...Now thats just perverted.
Young: What? You told me you ate one, and I want to know what it tastes like.
Sharper: Geez man, you know how to take a joke and just kill it. I'm gonna go eat my po-boy in my car.
Young: What did I do?!?!?