Saints @ Bengals: Game Predictions

1. Saints turn the ball over at least twice.
2. Brees has under 70% completion rate.
3. Saints have over 135 rushing yards.

The great thing about the internet is that you get to make a fool of yourself on an international stage. Here goes:

Saints 31, Bengals 9.

1. Saints have no turnovers.
2. Bengals have at least 3 turnovers.
3. At least two different Saints score rushing touchdowns.

Bonus: beer. At least I got that one right.

Since my predictions have rarely come true this year, I’m going with the opposite of what I think/hope will happen:

Saints 24, Bengals 34

1. Brees throws at least 2 INTs and for less than 200 yards
2. Chris Ivory fumbles at least once.
3. Cedric Benson scores at least two TDs.

1. Saints have over 120 yards rushing.
2. Saints have at least two takeaways.
3. Pierre Thomas scores.

Bonus: Ochocinco gets schooled by Sharper.

1. Brees does not throw an interception….damnit.

2. Benson rushes for 125+ and 2 TDs.

3. Saints drop at least 3 passes.

Given the weather conditions…sounds like it’s going to be a ground game. I don’t like our running D in the least….neither do i like our run O.

1. Cincy gets no offensive TD’s (by my score, one KO, punt, or INT return)
2. Drew has the best passing game of his career, in yards and completion percent, weather be damned!
3. Payton wins 3 challenges

Bonus: Ocho/Sharper=non-factor in the game.

1. We get 3 TD’s 3 FG’s
2. We recover a fumble
3. Dev Henderson gets a TD

Bonus: Shockey gets into a fight!

1) Bengals score a TD on first possession
2) Bengals do not score again until 3rd quarter
3) Drew Brees deos not get sacked

1. Brees throws int in 1st half
2. Defense gets a pick-6
3. Devery has a 40+ yd reception.

1. Brees has at less than 300 yards passing
2. Defense and/or Special Teams score a TD
3. Saints have more than 150 yards rushing

1. Drew Brees gets 3 TDs
2. Reggie finally hits pay dirt and gets in the end zone.
3. Defense gets three turnovers.

1) Drew – 2 TD, 0 INT, 300 or more yards
2) Rushing game – 140 or more yards, 3 TD
3) Defense – 2 or more turnovers, keep Bungles from the endzone, all scores for Bungles are kicks

Bonus: Ochostinko responsible for one turnover, D# plasters him right after a catch.

1. There will be light snow flurries sometime during the game.
2. Tusk scores at least one TD.
3. FPK misses at least one attempt at scoring.
Bonus: When he (FPK) does, Drew takes his right hand passing glove a Jap-slaps him with it.

Drew throws for 3 TD’s
Bush scores at least 1 TD
Porter makes an interception

1. GDub gives no quarter, Jordan Palmer is forced to take at least 2 snaps.
2. The Palmer Brothers throw at least 3 interceptions combined.
3. T.O. and Ochocinco are held to less than 99 receiving yards combined.

Bonus: The Saints on the sideline look oddly overbundled up. Maybe it’s because these games are the only times they ever wear coats. Marvin Lewis wears what my mother called a “stocking cap” as does owner Mike Brown even though he is sitting in a heated luxury suite and so does Sean Payton although you can tell he’d rather have on a visor. Weather is not a factor in this game except in their heads. If you watch the Bengals TV feed you can see that before and after every replay there is a Bengal on the screen and an audible tiger growl. Everyone watching the game on TV sees the quick views of the cityscape and thinks “Jesus1000, Cincy looks like a terribly crappy place to live”. City fathers and residents still are too embarrassed to reveal the real reason why it is known as the Queen City of the West, not that there’s anything wrong with that, just stay out of the public men’s rooms.

Drew has less than 250 yards passing

Bush gets less than 10 touches but scores and throws the ball in released frustration

Palmer throws at least 2 picks

1. Saints +3 in turn over battle.
2. Two Saints players combine for at least 3 rushing TDs.
3. Brees finishes with a 80% or better completion rating.

Bonus: Chad Johnson drops more passes than he catches.

1. Brees passes for at 250 yards.
2. Bush gets at least one TD.
3. Hartley never misses, field goals or point after.

1) Colston has most catches of any WRs that play
2) Sedrick Ellis has at least 1 sack
3) Saints Defense gets at least 3 takeaways

1. Brees throws at least 3 TD’s and at least one to each of: RB, TE, and WR.
2. Saints D is good for forcing at least 3 turnovers (any combination of interceptions or fumble recoveries).
3. Saints RB’s combine for 125 yards plus in rushing

1. Palmer does not throw an interception to Sharper or Jenkins
2. Brees is sacked 3 times
3. T.O. and Ochocinco score one TD each

1. We run the ball pretty well combined 130 yds.
2. Brees avoids the big deep plays due to weather conditions.
3.Defense forces 3 turnovers.

 Will be a tough day for the offense

  Defense wins this one.

1. Moore, Colston and Meachem all make a touchdown.
2. P. Thomas does not play this game.
3. Brees throws a bunch of yards and is back again in the lead for most passing yards in the NFL. after this weeks games.
 Lagniappe: The Bengals are losing bad at this point and the cameras catch a glimps of Ocho dude laughing on the sidelines. The broadcast guys are talking about if he’ll get as much crap thrown at him like Anderson did last week. The real reason he’s doing it is to see if he’ll be fined for mocking another NFL player. He doesn’t get fined and tweets goodell to tell him thank you for not fining him. After doing that, Goodell fines him for tweeting the NFL Commissioner.

Ochocinco is held without a catch.
The two teams combine for less than 250 rushing yards.
Three Saints TE’s have more than one reception each.

1. Ochocinco has less than 50 yards receiving.
2. Ivory has 75+ yards rushing.
3. Colston has the most receiving yards and receiving TDs of any player on either team.

1) We rush over 150 yards

2) Our D has 2+ picks

3) Their kicker shanks one under 35 yards

1. The Saints rush for over 150+ yards
2. The Saints have over 400 yards of offense
3. The Saints give up fewer than 300 yards of offense

1. Carson Palmer throws a fourth quarter interception.
2. Saints rush for over 140 yards.
3. Colston and Moore combine for more catches than OchoCinco and T.O.

Saints Break 40 points for the first time this year (finally)
Brees Throws 3 TDs
Ivory rushes for 2 TDs

SAINTS 37

BENGULS 12

1. Reggie Bush makes at least one rushing touchdown and one receiving touchdown.
2. Saints defense scores at least one touchdown.
3. Ochocinco scores the Bengals touchdown.

1.Drew throws for 3+ TD’s
2.Bungles are held to less then 300 total yards
3.Reggie leads all Saints in combined yards

Bonus – Sharper punches Ocho-Stinko in the mouth

1. Saints rush for over 150 yards
2. Malcolm Jenkins gets an interception
3. Lance Moore leads the Saints in receiving

1) Reggie rushes for TD.

2)Reggie scores receiving TD.

3)Reggie returns kick for TD.

1. Saints rush for 150+
2. Payton win a challenge
3. Saints make a big play on special teams (score a TD or force a TO)

Saint!

1. Brees passer rating under 94
2. Carson Palmer passer rating under 82
3. 4 or more combined turnovers (both teams)

wondered whatever became of me
I’m livin’ on the air in Cincinnati
Cincinnati in WKRP
Got kinda tired of packin’ and unpackin’
Town to town up and down the line
dah dah blah blah dah dah
Just maybe think of me once in a while
I’m at WKRP in Cincinnati…

Saints 33, Bengals 16

1) Saints rush for 200+ yards
2) Hold Bengals to under 300 yards (rush + receive)
3) Payton is 1 of 1 on successful replay challenges.

Bonus: Hans doesn’t freeze his butt off in PBS watching the Saints lose (like I did in 2002).

Extra Bonus: With this win, Hans finally quits bringing up this game. Let it go, Hans…

1. Hartley makes all attempts.
2. Drew throws over 350 yards.
3. Two rushing TD’s.

Hey coldpizza, you OK man. You sure been quiet lately.

Baby, if you’ve ever wondered
Wondered whatever became of me
I’m living on the air in Cincinnati
Cincinnati, WKRP
Got kind of tired of packin’ and unpackin’
Town to town, up and down the dial
Maybe you and me were never meant to be
Just maybe think of me once in a while
I’m at WKRP in Cincinnati.

1. Brees has a +70% completion average but under 300 yards.
2. Saints have more run plays than pass plays.
3. Defense and/or Special Teams score a TD.

Bonus: Saints rush for over 150 yards.

1) Saint Drew throws for less than 300 yds and has 0 picks! (please?)

2) Ivory has 1 rush TD and at least 100 yds rushing

3) Saints D gets at least 2 turnovers

Bonus: Reggie redeems himself by returning a punt for a TD

1. Drew Brees throws for 2 TDs, including a long bomb to Meachem.
2. Jimmy Graham rebounds with 4 receptions for 58 yds and a TD.
3. Tracy Porter picks off Carson Palmer.

brees throws for under 300 yards but 3 td’s
ivory has 80 plus yards rushing
jabari greer has an int

1. Saints over 425 yds total offense—at least 275 passing, at least 150 rushing.
2. Saints at least 2 TEs score TDs.
3. Brees completes over 70% passes, and finishes with QB rating over 105.

1. Brees has 4th straight 300 yard passing game, throws atleast 1 touchdown
2. Jimmy Graham, David Thomas, and Jeremy Shockey each catch atleast 2 passes
3. Saints D get 2+ Ints

Bonus- The guy at the concession stand sees my Saints jersey, poisons my food.

1.Saints runs the ball more than 25 times

2.Saints score more than 10 points off turnovers

3.A DT has a sack

1. Brees no second-half sacks
2. C. Palmer no passing TDs
3. Saints 120+ rushing yards

4. At least two B-roll shots of Cincinnati’s unique chili.

Saints score on first and last possessions.
Drew Brees has less than 30 passing attempts.
Saints score more points than Carson Palmer has completed passes.

1. Saints rush for > 125 yards & Bengals rush for < 100 yards.
2. Saints get at least 3 takeaways and make at least 3 sacks.
3. Saints defense and/or special teams score at least 1 TD.

1. Saints have at least a +2 TO differential
2. Reggie scores at least 1 TD
3. Bengals commit more penalties than the Saints

1.Saints have at least 2 Rush TD’s.
2.Saints D at least 3 sacks +1 fum. rec.
3.Lance Moore scores.

1. At least one mention of Drew winning the Sportsman of the year award
2. At least one comparison of Who Dat!!! vs who dey???…..
3. The tweets between D# and 85 gets mentioned

1. Saints win the turnover battle by +1
2. Garret Hartley makes all three of his field goal attempts
3. Drew Brees throws 2 TD passes

1. Ivory gets 2 TDs
2. Brees passes at least 250yds
3. Hartley misses at least 1 FG