Saints Offseason Grades

 

I know most of you are dying for some football, and no, I'm not talking about that "football" they're playing over there in South Africa where if you touch someone a little too hard they wave a yellow piece a paper at you. I also know that the lack of football in your life also means you've been spared from my post game player grading. Perhaps this is a good thing. As much as you needed a break from my posting, I needed a break from reviewing game film so I could come back refreshed and ready to do more this season. Today I thought to myself, hey, I actually miss grading the Saints players. Admittedly that hasn't been the case too many times this offseason, but I think I'm officially ready for the season to start and for my blogging role at CSC to resume. It's true, I need to step up my game. Well there is only one problem, there are no games, so there's nothing to grade. You're still getting something out of me, so here's your offseason grades

saints-nation, aka "the Juge", aka Andrew Juge, aka me: D- (.067) My lack of blogging on CSC has been utterly pathetic. How Dave hasn't banished me yet I'm not sure. In fact, he doesn't know I'm writing this right now so I hope you enjoy reading this before it's deleted. In my defense, I've been focused on my own Saints blog which I still update daily, and I've been "celebrating" the birth of my first child who came to the world on May 16th. Any of you dads out there know how the things you "want to do" happen less frequently when you're busy changing diapers. I still argue that I'm not deserving of an F, though,  because I'm typing this now and I didn't fail Jermon Bushrod's performance against the Cowboys. That's right, I gave him a D-. Granted this proves my standards are incredibly low, but if someone getting routinely abused by DeMarcus Ware operating at 45% is worthy of a passing grade, by God I am too.

Jeremy Shockey's Hydration: C+ (2.33) Sure, he passed out again, which is becoming a cool little offseason ritual for him... but he did it at the training facility this time. I'm guessing team doctors were on grounds, so this was safer, and he looks more heroic for busting his tail in the weight room. Shockey is getting pretty good at picking his pass out locations. Way better than wasted poolside in Vegas, right? Perhaps ESPN should start polling fans where he'll land next. Do you think there are any NFL odds on this?

Dave Cariello aka saintsational: A+ (4.33) The lack of participation by me has meant Dave assuming an even larger responsibility than usual in keeping all you good people entertained. So what does he do? He gets Al Woods to become a resident blogger for like a week. How cool was that? He's stayed on top of everything and kept the summer dialog plentiful, which I can promise you is no easy task in the offseason when you're a blog that just talks about one NFL team. He also finally revealed his true identify to you all by making his name "Dave Cariello." Another great call, because every time I read "saintsational" I read saintsation. Now sure, maybe that's my perverse mind, but I for one do not enjoy confusing Dave with an attractive girl in pom-poms. It's like taking a really cold shower.

Whoever Designed the SuperBowl Ring (pictured): A (4.00) It's got a fleur de lis on it, it says World Champions (even though the Saints never play any teams outside the US), and it's got a crapload of diamonds on it. We could pool together about four or five engagement rings we've collectively given our wives/fiances, and they'd still be worth less together than this prized jewel. Either we're pathetic or the Saints are awesome. Perhaps said wives/fiances would argue both are true.

Mickey Loomis: C+ (2.33) He does pretty good with the draft. He finally dumps Charles Grant's lazy a$$. He covers up a felony, allegedly. He gives Jahri Evans the deal he deserves. He plays hard ball with Pierre Thomas and probably ticked him off. Mixed bag.

Roman Harper and Lance Moore: A (4.00) Those guys were in the same position as Jammal Brown and Pierre Thomas. Did they refuse to sign their tenders? No. Did they hold up to express their displeasure about the contract status? No. Did they show up to work despite not having deals in place so they could work with their teammates? Yes. I applaud these guys. Class acts all the way.

Steve Smith: F- (negative GPA?) How do you break your arm playing flag football when you're a pro player? Wow. Epic fail. Good thing he doesn't play for the Saints or he might have suckerpunched Leigh Torrence for no reason and broken his jaw. Not that you root for opposing team's players to get injured, but I'm in favor of anything that stunts the growth of Panther's QB Matt Moore.

And last but not least, a question. I'm curious: what grade would you give yourself for CSC participation this offseason?

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