12 Reasons to Hate the Minnesota Vikings...Again!
by David. on Sep 9, 2010 12:02 PM CDT
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PrintI'm back! Welcome to the first edition of this season's 12 reasons to hate. Please remember the rules. These are just jokes, and please, supply your own at will. For a recap of last season's 12 reasons, check here. Enjoy:
I'm all for supporting your team, Brett, but going so far as to changing the color of your ankle? Oh, he's such a gunslinger. So totally unpredictable, that fella!
2. Brett Favre's middle name. Can we just call him Lorenzo from now on?
Norris's cure cancer, Tebow's lead to National Championships and first round draft picks, and Favre's make the 24 hour news cycle nauseating.
4. Jared Allen wants to "beat the tar" out of the Saints. Perhaps he learned what that feels like from that time he spent in jail after his third DUI. 1? Standard for his type of personality. 2? Dumb and dangerous. 3? He should be playing less red rover and spending more time on the All-American Longest Yard team.
5. They are trying to take away Reggie's Heisman. This has nothing to do with the Vikings, but c'mon!
6. But they TOTALLY deserved to win the Super Bowl last time! It was the curse! The Saints stole the victory from the Vikes through shoddy officiating, unsportsmen-like defense, and Adrian Peterson's serious addiction to fumbling. Also, see any excuse other than the fact that the Saints were a better team.
7. Prince. He be stealin' our wimmenz and changin' his name ‘n' junk. Also, he writes songs about the Vikings beating the Saints. That worked out well last time.
8. Alright, let's clear this up once and for all. It is Purple and Yellow. Not Gold. This is Yellow. This is Gold. Get it? What are the bets that we'll have to revisit this come Steelers time?
9. Skol is bad for you. You could get mouth cancer.
10. Many of you know that a Vikings fan told me that a loss in last season's NFC Championship was going to feel like losing my house to Katrina again. I promptly boycotted his wing restaurant and when I got back to Oxford, MS this summer I discovered his business had shut down. So sad. Apparently, not everyone understood the power of my wrath, as this guy continues to muster up bad voodoo for the Vikes. Admittedly a Bears hall-of-famer, Dan Hampton didn't do these guys any favors, and because of it, we have just another reason to hate.
11. Minnesota's state sport is ice hockey. I don't even have a joke for that. The joke is in the context.
12. They are undefeated. Go get ‘em, boys. WHO DAT! DREW DAT! TWO DAT! REPEAT DAT!
This FanPost was written by a reader and member of Canal Street Chronicles. It does not necessarily reflect the views of CSC and its staff or editors.
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hey man, that prince reference really crossed the line....that song was fierce ;)
in the future there will be no war...there will only be rollerball.
was my favorite fight song
Well that and Barney’s “Clean up! Clean up! Everybody lend a hand.”
"Why do you even ponder passing? I mean, you can take a knee and try a 56 yard field goal! This is not Detroit man, this is the Superbowl!" -- Paul Allen's call after Tracy Porter intercepted Brett Favre in NFCCG
don't make fun of the Viking's mascot!
but you can make fun of that song even tho as a little kid i watched that creature and sang the songs to my lil heart’s content. I think i liked weird creatures because after that i moved onto ninja turtles
Superbowl bound!!!...I know! do you?! Go Saints!!
easy now, or we'll have to sick 'tinky the purple tele-tubby' on you....he'll beat you with his purse.
in the future there will be no war...there will only be rollerball.
If their state sport is hockey
Why did their NHL team abandond them for Dallas maybe they need to take a long look in the mirror hahaha
World Champions at last
by mississippisaintsfan on Sep 9, 2010 1:13 PM CDT reply actions
“9. Skol is bad for you. You could get mouth cancer.”
I think that’s my favorite.
-
My brother (not a sports fan at all) hates Brett because he can’t even pronounce his own last name.
It’s Fav – re…. like Fav – ray…. Not Farrrve
Want to go to the Saints vs. Cowboys game? I've got an extra ticket.
what are you, some kind of comedian? why have i never heard of you?
in the future there will be no war...there will only be rollerball.
oh, i get it now....the 'unknown comedian' is a saints fan (ar, ar, ar, ar).
in the future there will be no war...there will only be rollerball.
lol... :-) I'm gonna be HUGE.
(That is how you pronounce his name, btw.)
Want to go to the Saints vs. Cowboys game? I've got an extra ticket.
i like to show him respect...i call him "mr. barfve"
in the future there will be no war...there will only be rollerball.
Nice
Yes, I am old and watched the “Gong Show”
"Why do you even ponder passing? I mean, you can take a knee and try a 56 yard field goal! This is not Detroit man, this is the Superbowl!" -- Paul Allen's call after Tracy Porter intercepted Brett Favre in NFCCG
Minnesota Mollycoddle
mol·ly·cod·dle/ˈmälēˌkädl/
Verb: Treat (someone) very indulgently or protectively.
Noun: An effeminate or ineffectual man or boy; a milksop.
Low blow on Jared Allen
He cleaned his act up, and has stayed away from drinking since then. Way to link a story from 2007 buddy, while he was still with the Chiefs.
Still getting into altercations in bars though
And if you want to say he wasn’t drunk for this one, keep in mind that the last time anyone was sober and used the word “homeboy” was 1998.
"I want to hand this trophy to the MVP of the Super Bowl -- and the MVP of the entire league.''
-- Saints coach Sean Payton, handing the Vince Lombardi Trophy to Drew Brees after Super Bowl 44.
Yea it went out with the mullet
World Champions at last
by mississippisaintsfan on Sep 9, 2010 3:13 PM CDT up reply actions
And you would never get upset if someone insulted your wife/fiancee?
Yelling at a douche for insulting your girl is something I would expect ANY man to do, and to use that as an attempt to bash his character is REALLY reaching.
I don't know about you
But I don’t go throwing around the C word unless the girl is reaaaaallly being a C word. Maybe his girl deserved it.
"I want to hand this trophy to the MVP of the Super Bowl -- and the MVP of the entire league.''
-- Saints coach Sean Payton, handing the Vince Lombardi Trophy to Drew Brees after Super Bowl 44.
I like the bit which says he`s "quite" loyal to his GF
Does that mean he only cheats on her some of the time?
Aints no more
And you were right.
(Thanks for the straight, Abbot.)
Fat, dumb, and happy. Hell, two out of three ain't bad!
I Want To Die In My Sleep Like My Grandpa – Not Screaming and Yelling Like His Passengers.
by Just 'Nother Day on Sep 10, 2010 5:09 AM CDT up reply actions
I thought the best reason to hate the Vikes was because they are a better team
I know it’s a good reason, you might want to think about putting it up there.
I’ll add one more too, Tavaris Jackon and the fans who love him. Nuff said.
It's a lot easier to love the Vikings when they win...
by Grime on Sep 9, 2010 4:23 PM CDT reply actions 1 recs
I rec'd this one...
Because you are just so damn clever.
"HOT BOUDIN! COOOOOLD COUS COUS, COME ON TIGAHS, PUSH PUSH PUSH!"
Now that the first game is over, you may want to look up the definition of "recant."
You’re welcome.
Fat, dumb, and happy. Hell, two out of three ain't bad!
I Want To Die In My Sleep Like My Grandpa – Not Screaming and Yelling Like His Passengers.
by Just 'Nother Day on Sep 10, 2010 5:11 AM CDT up reply actions
Only Allen's retired mullet
Underestimate No One, Take Nothing For Granted
by SaintsFanInIraq on Sep 10, 2010 4:29 AM CDT up reply actions
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