I'm back! Welcome to the first edition of this season's 12 reasons to hate. Please remember the rules. These are just jokes, and please, supply your own at will. For a recap of last season's 12 reasons, check here. Enjoy:
I'm all for supporting your team, Brett, but going so far as to changing the color of your ankle? Oh, he's such a gunslinger. So totally unpredictable, that fella!
4. Jared Allen wants to "beat the tar" out of the Saints. Perhaps he learned what that feels like from that time he spent in jail after his third DUI. 1? Standard for his type of personality. 2? Dumb and dangerous. 3? He should be playing less red rover and spending more time on the All-American Longest Yard team.
6. But they TOTALLY deserved to win the Super Bowl last time! It was the curse! The Saints stole the victory from the Vikes through shoddy officiating, unsportsmen-like defense, and Adrian Peterson's serious addiction to fumbling. Also, see any excuse other than the fact that the Saints were a better team.
7. Prince. He be stealin' our wimmenz and changin' his name ‘n' junk. Also, he writes songs about the Vikings beating the Saints. That worked out well last time.
9. Skol is bad for you. You could get mouth cancer.
10. Many of you know that a Vikings fan told me that a loss in last season's NFC Championship was going to feel like losing my house to Katrina again. I promptly boycotted his wing restaurant and when I got back to Oxford, MS this summer I discovered his business had shut down. So sad. Apparently, not everyone understood the power of my wrath, as this guy continues to muster up bad voodoo for the Vikes. Admittedly a Bears hall-of-famer, Dan Hampton didn't do these guys any favors, and because of it, we have just another reason to hate.
11. Minnesota's state sport is ice hockey. I don't even have a joke for that. The joke is in the context.
12. They are undefeated. Go get ‘em, boys. WHO DAT! DREW DAT! TWO DAT! REPEAT DAT!