Super bowl Hangover: Cause I'd miss you babe

(Scene begins: The Saints are regrouping in their locker room after the loss to Seattle.)

Brees: I can't believe we just lost. I thought we could do it.

Bush: Don't worry man, it wasn't your fault.

Brees: I know it wasn't my fault. By the way, hows your leg?

Bush: Oh..uh...yeah..it hurts. (begins to limp around)

Brees: Uh huh. Sure.

Bush: Well, if it wasn't your fault, who's fault was it?

Brees: We lost 41-36, who's fault do you think it was?

Bush:.....The refs?

Brees:(looks towards Harper)

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Harper: Hey guys, hows it...

Brees: (snarls)

Harper: Look, I know I didn't have a good game. But do you really want to put the blame all on me?

Brees: Yes

(A strange man walks into the locker room with a muffled voice and a hood on his head)

???: Roman, I would like to thank you. You are now my favorite Saint. Can I have your autograph?

(Harper gives the man his autograph)

Harper: I just had the worst game of my life...how can I be your favorite Saint now?

(Man drops hood)

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David: Thank you again!! Now I won't be the most hated Saint for a few weeks!!

(HWSNBN skips out of the locker room giggling like a school girl as he leaves)

Brees: Congrats Harper! Jason David now pities you.

Harper: (sigh)

(Vilma walks over)

Vilma: Anybody seen the coaches?

Brees: I think they went to the press conference. Why?

Vilma: Because I want to slip out before they get here, I'd rather get the lecture later when they are more optimistic.

Harper: Yeah I...

Vilma: Did I tell you that you could speak Jason?

Harper: My names not..

VIlma: It is now. Congrats, you earned it.

Harper: (Sigh)

(Bushrod walks over)

Bushrod: Did anyone else get a gift basket?

Bush: No.

Bushrod: I got one from Clemons. It came with a note.

Brees: What's it say?

Bushrod: "I felt I needed to give you something, since I give my dates a dinner BEFORE we go to the bedroom and I make them squeal."

(Group laughs, Vilma gives Harper an evil eye after he opened his mouth to laugh. Harper looks at his feet.)

Vilma: Well guys, it's been a pleasure working with you these past few months. Guess I'll see you guys at training camp.

Brees: Can't wait.

Harper: Well I ca...

(Vilma looks ready to hit Harper)

Harper: nevermind

Bush: See you later Jon.

(Vilma walks out the door)

Bush: I can't believe it's over. Feels like these past few months just flew by.

Brees: Yupp, it does.

(Footsteps can be heard coming from outside the locker room, sounds of "Blitz" can be heard)

Harper: Oh crap. I gotta go. I will never hear the end of it from Gregg. I'll see you guys later.

(Harper picks up his stuff and runs out the door)

(Gregg Williams enters)

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Williams: Hey guys.

Brees: Hey Gregg. You're quiet today.

Williams: Yeah..just upset about the game. Has anyone seen Harper?

Bush: Yeah he left.

Williams: WHAT!?! THAT LITTLE SON OF A BI$^% NO COVERING FALLING DOWN MOTHER*$&$($.

Brees: Geez coach, next time don't hold back.

Williams: YOU'RE RIGHT, THANKS DREW. THAT #&$T$&#$^#&$^&#^$& *#$&*#$*#&$*#&*#$&*$ #$#*(#$(#*.

Bush: Wait, what's a *#$&*#$*?

Williams: ASK YOUR PARENTS.

Young: Is that like an edible woman?

Williams: That boy is dumb as a doorknob.

(Hartley walks over)

Hartley: Has anyone seen Morestead?

(Group shakes head)

Hartley: Good. I'm gonna put a cat in his locker.

Brees: Oh Lord.

Bush: Do it! Do it!

Young: Why a cat?

Williams: GET OUT OF HERE, AND DON'T COME BACK BECAUSE YOU'RE FIRED.

(Young runs out of the locker room crying)

Williams: OH LORD. I UPSET THE BOY. I'M GONNA GO APOLOGIZE.

(Williams leaves the locker room)

Brees: So Hartley, when are you gonna tell me about the cross country trip you took after Chase ratted you out to coach?

Hartley: Oh trust me, that's a long story that you wouldn't wanna hear about.

Brees: Alright give me an example.

Hartley: Well, the trip was like being around someone who is a big douche. You know he's one, but he doesen't realize it at all.

Bush: That made no sense at all.

Brees: That made complete sense.

Bush: How did that make sense to you?

Brees: I had a douche follow me around in San Diego, he was...annoying as #^$&.

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Brees: Well look guys, I gotta go. I got my press conference, then I got to get home to my family. I have barely paid attention to them since the Cleveland game.

Hartley: Yeah, and I gotta go back to Dallas and make sure my Adderall connection is still good for the next season.

Bush: Alright, I'll see you guys around. I just have to get some stuff in my locker.

Brees: Hey. Hope you're back next year dude. It's gonna be different in here without you.

Bush: Yeah, I hope so too.

(Brees and Hartley leave the room.)

Bush: Alright, just gotta get my magazines out of here...and the pictures...wait, what is this picture? Is that...coach?

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Payton: Could stay awake just to hear you breathing. Watch you smile while you are sleeping. While you're far away and dreaming. I could spend my life in this sweet surrender. I could stay lost in this moment forever. When every moment spent with you is a moment I treasure.

Bush: Coach..please don't.

Payton: I don't wanna close my eyes. I don't wanna fall asleep. Cause I'd miss you Reggie. And I don't wanna miss a thing. Cause even when I dream of you. The sweetest dream would never do. I'd still miss you Reggie. And I don't wanna miss a thing.

Bush: (blushes) Um coach look. I like you...as a friend.

Payton: But...you got the juicy fruit tattoo. It's on your thigh!!

Bush: It's just not gonna happen coach.

Payton: $11 Million.

Bush:.... (sigh) alright.

Payton: (Squeals with joy)

(Payton runs out of the locker room to get some juicy fruit)

Bush: Well, there's always next year.

(Bush walks out of the locker room)

(three hours later)

Shanle: Did everyone leave? Why are the lights off? Why does my head hurt? And why is there juicy fruit wrappers all over the place?

(Scene end)