Saints and Sinners Offseason Edition Week 1: We'll Always Have Dallas

It's quiet. Almost too quiet. With the Packers' victory in Sunday's Super Bowl, an eerie silence has descended over the NFL. It's thick like a fog that rolls in with the morning and makes you wonder if it might never lift. What we're witnessing here is the calm before the storm of the NFL's upcoming labor dispute. Let's not kid ourselves, Saints fans. Sunday's game could (emphasis on the could, I am an optimist after all - when it suits me) have shown us the last snap of football we may see for quite some time. With that in mind, let's take a look at some of the good and bad news around the league (and maybe popular culture) in a new weekly feature, Saints and Sinners. Follow me into the breach!

Note: The way this works is sort of a "Who's hot, who's not" list as it relates to (primarily) the Saints, (secondly) the League®, and (lastly) the world outside. Participation is ESSENTIAL here, so feel free to add your own Saints and Sinners in the comments section below!


SAINTS:

  • The Cast Of Tron The Black Eyed Peas: Wow! Did you folks see that halftime show? It comforts me to know that if a galactic war should ever break out, the Earth can rely on the four apparently-from-the-future members of the Black Eyed Peas that performed during the Super Bowl Half-Time Show Sponsored by Mr. Fusion and the Flux Capacitor to defend us. My only worry is that alien civilizations may mistake this for an act of war. Mark my words, within six months, Will.i.am's plastic hair will be the hottest trend in men's hair.
  • The 112,158 Owners of the Green Bay Packers: These guys are Saints for the simple fact of showing that there are at least 112,158 people in the world who know how to run a football team better than Jerry Jones. At least. (For those of you who will bring it up in the comments, no, we can't force the Saints to become publicly owned. It's against NFL rules now.)
  • Clay Matthews: An impact player for the Packers defense, Matthews amassed a whopping... Blah, blah, blah. He plays great D to be sure, but what the guy should really be known for is being a nerd hero. In fact after Green Bay's win Sunday, Matthews quoted the Lord of the Rings series in a tweet. But before that, he was seen carrying around a WWE style title belt, and has the hair of a warlock. For those of you who don't know, Clay prefers to be called Claydox the Fifty-Second, Emperor of Middle Earth, and I'm not about to be the guy who crosses him on this.

And now for your Sinners (cue Tocatta and Fuge in D Minor)

  • Troy Aikman: Did you know that Troy used to play for the Cowboys? Did you also know that he played in a Super Bowl? Did you know that, huh? Huh? Did you?! Good to know. Thanks for the reminders, Mr. Commentary Man. (OK, so there's nothing of any real journalistic value here, but come on, Troy isn't exactly Ray Hudson either. Soccer fans, you know what I'm talking about. Back me up on this one.)
  • Christina Ag... Aug... Aguiel... The One Who Sang the National Anthem: I won't be too harsh on her, because she is demonstrably a great singer, but she did mess up the words to our national anthem. Granted, it is quite difficult to sing, and granted as well that the pressure of the situation is enormous, and granted that a majority of Americans cannot recite the national anthem, this is still inexcusable. Because everyone knows when you mess up the words to that song, the terrorists have won.
  • Sean Payton: As hard as it may be to say this, our beloved coach seems to have committed a genuine boo-boo by buying a house in the Dallas area. I'm still patiently waiting to see how this turns out of course before I go screaming and crying down Frenchman Street, but this is one of those cases where it's the thought that counts. Do I think he meant anything by it? No. But I just worry that next we'll be hearing he's got a secret checking account and has been e-mailing his ex to talk about "recipes for hamburgers," and that new blue tie really was a "gift from a client." 

Well folks, it's been a good one. Our luggage has been taken care of, put on the plane and now it's time for the 2010 season to get on that plane with Victor where it belongs. We have no idea what to look forward to in 2011, nine chances out of ten there may be no football at all. We're saying it because it's true, but we'll always have Dallas. It doesn't take much to see that the problems of this season don't amount to a hill of beans in this crazy world.  Now, now. Here's looking at you, Saints fans.

Who are your Saints and Sinners of the week?

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