FanPost

R.I.P. BewareofDog (Again?)

Earlier this morning, the highly charismatic and controversial member of CSC known as "Dog", was killed in what can only be described (once again) as a highly unusual but extremely violent and subsequently quite messy incident in his home when he clicked on a link to Pro Football Talk (an action by itself that deserves a death sentence for stupidity) to view their Power Rankings.

Sources have confirmed that BewareofDog died when his head exploded after reading that Mike Florio, known to CSC members as "jerk", "douche", "hack" and "Satan's Evil Bastard Spawn", had placed the New Orleans Saints at #2 in his rankings behind the Green Bay Packers and AHEAD of the New England Patriots.

This is eerily reminiscent of a similar incident which occurred after BewareofDog witnessed Scott Shanle making a tackle BEHIND THE LINE OF SCRIMMAGE on a play in which he stopped the ball carrier for a 2 yard loss during a game between the Saints and Packers in week 1.

It was reported at the time of the "Shanle Incident" that BewareofDog had died but it turned out that he actually survived by some miraculous circumstance due to his consumption of an unknown purple substance.

To make the whole matter even more bizarre, the unknown substance was delivered to his hospital room by a mysterious figure with pig tails and freckles who reportedly yelled, "I'm only keeping you alive until you pay what you owe. Why don't your ass try getting used baseballs every year as a Christmas present?" (Don't try to figure it out...inside joke)

Currently, we have not been able to confirm reports that this incident is in any way related to a series of explosions which also occurred in the Boston, New Orleans, Cincinnati, Dallas, and Wichita areas at various times throughout this morning.

This FanPost was written by a reader and member of Canal Street Chronicles. It does not necessarily reflect the views of CSC and its staff or editors.

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