Not My Quarterback's Keeper

Kevin C. Cox

I don't participate in fantasy football, damnit! Leave me alone!

I've already expressed my grievances about people who ask "What happened to your boys!" after a Saints loss (or two). Well, here is another common experience that is more funny than annoying and most of us likely deal with it every week of the NFL season. How many of you get this one from friends, family, and co-workers leading into a Saints game?

"Hey, I need (Brees, Graham, etc.) to come up big for my fantasy team this week!"

Okay, I get it. We may be the resident Saints fans in many of these people's lives. Perhaps even the only Saints fans these people even know. By default we not only represent Who Dat Nation, to some, we are Who Dat Nation. Even with that said, all that matters to me is that Brees, Graham, etc. play well so the Saints win. If you happen to get some silly fantasy points as a byproduct of that Saints win then have at it. Otherwise your fantasy requests will continue to get a polite smile and a roll of the eyes from me.

Even better is the Brees backlash of the last two weeks. Here's what I and I'm sure many of you have heard: "Your boy Brees is killing my fantasy team right now! I might not make the playoffs!"

It's a travesty! Please accept my humblest apologies on behalf of Drew Brees and the New Orleans Saints. I'm sure after the second pick 6 vs. San Francisco Drew was thinking, "Oh no, those fantasy toolbags are gonna be so crestfallen!"

What's most comical is that these fantasy types are dead serious when they bring these request/complaints to you. Like you're gonna say, "How many TD's and yards do you need from Drew this week?" pull out your phone and get your boy Drew on the line. "Yo Drew, I need you to throw for about 400 with 3 TD's this week for my boys over here to get some sweet fantasy points, thanks." Yeah, not so much.

Look, I don't partake in fantasy football but I guess I get why some do. I just don't have the time of patience for it. All I have time for in the NFL season is the New Orleans Saints and results that benefit the New Orleans Saints. I don't want to deal with "the Saints lost but AP got me crazy fantasy points this week!" No, I'm not doing that. My only "fantasy" in football is that the Saints win and do so in convincing fashion.

I may be a Saints fan, I may be a Drew Brees fan, I may even wear a Drew Brees jersey. But I am not my quarterback's keeper. I can't make requests to him on your behalf and he doesn't care about your fantasy team. In fact, neither do I.

When anyone says, "Those 7 picks killed my fantasy season," I tell them that those 7 picks the last two weeks killed the Saints actual season. I feel for Drew and I know that nobody is harder on him than he is on himself. So let it go "fantasy guy." Who Dat Nation has more important things to focus on.

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