CORVALLIS, OR - NOVEMBER 5: Tight end Coby Fleener #82 of the Stanford Cardinal makes a catch over safety Ryan Murphy #25 of the Oregon State Beavers on November 5, 2011 at Reser Stadium in Corvallis, Oregon. (Photo by Craig Mitchelldyer/Getty Images)
Coby Fleener, TE, Stanford
Hi, I'm Jay Cutler. First, I'd like to thank Mr. Dave Cariello for inviting me to participate in the community mock draft here at Canal Street Chronicles. I'll be in New Orleans through the end of the week to speak at this year's American Diabetes Association convention, which is also quite an honor. From what I gather, there was a last minute drop and Dave asked me if I'd like to fill in. I guess that's what you call being in the right place at the right time. LOL! Sorry, I'm a little nervous. Please bear with me. See what I did there? Bear? I play for Chicago. Plenty of black & gold jerseys out there. Just trying to lighten the mood.
Let's move on to my selection. As some of you may know, I'm a professional football quarterback. Because of this, I'm not going to concern myself too much with our team's defensive needs. Sure, we could probably use another young stud pass rusher or additional depth in our secondary. Big whoop. That's something for Mr. Emery and Coach Marinelli and Coach Smith to worry about. That's what they're paid to do. I'm paid to get us into the end zone. In order to do that, all I need are PLENTY of offensive weapons and a little time to find them.
I'm excited about being reunited with Brandon Marshall this season. We were able to get a lot accomplished together in Denver and I'm confident we can rekindle that chemistry early on. I'm also grateful for the signing of halfback Michael Bush. It's not something that a lot of people talk about, but Mike is one of the best backs in the league, when it comes to picking up the blitz. And as a guy who's been sacked 110 times in the last three seasons ... trust me, that's not something people shouldn't be talking about. LOL!
To that extent, we went after Gabe Carimi, out of Wisconsin, at the bottom of the first round last year and our sack totals decreased dramatically. From 52 in 2010, to just 23 in 2011. There aren't any household names along our offensive line, and that's kind of how we like it, to be perfectly honest. Give me Git-R-Done over flashy any day. Are you guys familiar with Larry the Cable Guy down here on the bayou? That man's a hoot, let me tell you. In fact, I need to call Kristin and tell her to TiVo "Only in America" on the History Channel tonight. Hoping Brandon didn't punch a hole in my new 82" flat screen since I left.
Something else you may have heard ... Coach Martz is adios this year in the Windy City. Just between you and me, I am SO f*** ing happy! Seriously. I danced the Cabbage Patch when I heard he was retiring. Good guy and all, but talk about an albatross around my neck, with his turn-of-the-millennium playbook still catered to Marc Bulger. You have no idea how many times I pleaded with him on the sidelines. "Mike? Mike? Let's go to the tight end. I want to use my tight end, Mike. The big guy breaking across the middle. That's who I'd like to get the ball to, Mike." So, what does he do? He trades Greg Olsen to Carolina for a third round pick and brings in Matt Spaeth in free agency. Matt f*** ing Spaeth! I'm pretty sure Darnell Dinkins played a bigger role in the Saints' passing game, the year you guys won the Lombardi.
Have any of you noticed the increased emphasis certain offenses have been placing on tight end lately. I'm talking about high potent offenses, like the Patriots (with Gronkowski and Hernandez), you guys (with Graham) ... hell, even Antonio Gates has made ol' D*** face look like an elite quarterback in San Diego at times. That's what I need. That's what I want to find waiting for me under the tree, when I wake up on Christmas morning. And here's where it starts.
Coby Fleener is a 6'6" 247 lb monster. A huge target with exceptional hand-to-eye coordination. More importantly, he knows how to gain separation on those short-to-intermediate routes. So, when I have Jared Allen or Clay Matthews or Ndamukong Suh breathing down my neck twice a season, I can check down to this Philistine warrior and avoid the heat. Fleener's a brainy cat, too. You can't afford not to be, when you're attending Stanford. As a Vanderbilt graduate myself, I like to surround myself with smart football players. Like Matt Forte. He's from Tulane, right around your little t-shirt emporium there, Mr. Dave. LOL! Mr. Dave gave me a tour of his t-shirt shop yesterday afternoon. As a heads up, if you happen to be in the market for a Tau Kappa Epsilon snuggie, the Campus Connection on Broadway is definitely the place to be. :) /wipes brown off nose.
Speaking of brown nosing, I have a little confession to make. LOL! Trust me, this is good. I was fortunate enough to run into Fleener at the NFL Combine in Indy a few weeks back and we got to talking a little. Well, when I asked him for his thoughts on the possibility of being a Chicago Bear were, he replied something like "well, golly gee, I'm not sure, Mr. Jay. Are you sure you're going to be able to get me the ball?" I just LOLed at the time, but that hulking f*** er's comment stayed with me that day. It really did. That's when I remembered the lyrics to an old Shaquille O'Neal song. LOL! So, the first time I drill a game winning touchdown pass between two defenders to Fleener in the end zone, I plan on running over to him, grabbing him by the facemask and yelling "COBY, HOW MY A** TASTE?" LOLOLOL! Because his first name is Coby. Which sounds just like Kobe. Bryant. Shaq's former Lakers teammate. Ok, maybe you'd have to be there.
Anyway, thanks again for having me and please remember to support the American Diabetes Association.
Below are the complete results from our community mock draft.
Catch up with all of the mock draft selections in our 2012 CSC Community Mock Draft Section.
|Pick||Team||Selection||Team Representative||Approval Rating|
|1||Indianapolis Colts||QB Andrew Luck - Stanford||Legatron Morstead||77%|
|2||Washington Redskins||QB Robert Griffin III - Baylor||VAsaintsfan||78%|
|3||Minnesota Vikings||OT Matt Kalil - USC||Hans Petersen||69%|
|4||Cleveland Browns||RB Trent Richardson - Alabama||Fan since the Aints||81%|
|5||Tampa Bay Buccaneers||CB Morris Claiborne - LSU||Alex Swift||50%|
|6||St. Louis Rams||WR Justin Blackmon - Oklahoma St.||GRIZZ||73%|
|7||Jacksonville Jaguars||WR Michael Floyd - Notre Dame||AcquiredPanic||51%|
|8||Miami Dolphins||WR Kendall Wright - Baylor||were gonna need a bigger boat||16%|
|9||Carolina Panthers||DT Michael Brockers - LSU||DatFan||43%|
|10||Buffalo Bills||OT Riley Reiff - Iowa||theprogrammerman||51%|
|11||Kansas City Chiefs||G David DeCastro - Stanford||Jimbo03||69%|
|12||Seattle Seahawks||DE Melvin Ingram - South Carolina||BASAINT||57%|
|13||Arizona Cardinals||DT Dontari Poe - Memphis||jeremysherwin||44%|
|14||Dallas Cowboys||S Mark Barron - Alabama||Saint for Life||59%|
|15||Philadelphia Eagles||DE Quinton Coples - North Carolina||caominh|
|16||NY Jets||LB Courtney Upshaw - Alabama||GRIZZ|
|17||Cincinnati Bengals||WR Stephen Hill - Georgia Tech||coldpizza|
|18||San Diego Chargers||DE/OLB Nick Perry - USC||Alex Swift|
|19||Chicago Bears||TE Coby Fleener - Stanford||Jay Cutler|
Do you approve of this pick?
Yes (127 votes)
No (128 votes)
Indifferent (15 votes)
270 total votes