FanPost

Roger Goodell announces plans to Nuke New Orleans

Yep, it finally happened.

At approximately 11 A.M of June 2nd, Goodell sent the following tweet:
#NukeOrleans project is underway. Consider it their "Permanent Suspension..."#EvilLaughter
Later that day, Goodell released more information, citing the Bountygate scandal as his reason to unleash this plan, saying
"What the Saints did was unforgivable, and I have to crush them all in a fiery tomb of despair set an example for other teams."
He also compared the plan to his successful attempt to set Bill Belichick's emotions on fire, as well as Tom Brady's self esteem, after the Spygate scandal. Belichick was not available for comment, but when Brady was questioned, he simply sobbed upon being reminded of the incident. There have been mixed responses from the citizens of New Orleans. One man, Dave Cariellette said "Why won't Goodell just hurry up and kill us already? He's already taken everything that was worth living for." Other citizens have attempted to escape the city, only to find that Goodell has already walled off the entire area that is to be nuked. More details will come in the following days. But look on the brightside of things... at least we know what he's doing with all the fine money!

This FanPost was written by a reader and member of Canal Street Chronicles. It does not necessarily reflect the views of CSC and its staff or editors.

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