Trying to Stump 'Akinator': Will the Robot Guess Drew Brees?

USA TODAY Sports

The long and boring NFL off-season makes us bloggers do some crazy things sometimes. Like trying to outsmart a famous internet algorithm. Hilarity ensues.

Akinator is the web genie; a custom made bot that essentially plays '20 Questions' with you and tries to guess what character, real or fictional, past or present, that you're thinking of. The algorithm they use is an original creation.

Maybe you've heard of it this silly website, maybe you haven't. It was news to me when James Brady of Niners Nation used it to try and guess 49ers head coach Jim Harbaugh. So I decided to do the same thing and see if Akinator could guess Saints quarterback Drew Brees.

With Drew in mind, I clicked "Play" and took Akinator for a little spin around the block. The way it works is that Akinator will ask questions and eliminate people from its database based on answers given. A person can answer Yes, No, Don't Know, Probably and Probably Not . After enough questions, it's hopefully able to correctly narrow down the database to one character.

Will Akinator guess Drew Brees? How many questions will it take? And just what questions will he ask? Let's see what happens.

Question No. 1 - Does your character really exist?

Good starting question. Makes sense, as the answer will quickly eliminate a large chunk the database. But do any of us really exist? I can't prove it or give an answer with absolute certainty. I could really throw off Akinator by answering Probably Not. But Descartes believed cogito ergo sum so we'll just go with that and answer...Yes .

Question No. 2 - Is your character's gender female?

Eliminating half the possibilities. Another smart move. Akinator knows what he's doing. That's an easy...No.

Question No. 3 - Has your character ever been married?

Oh, now we're getting personal. I see how it is. Drew Brees is definitely a married man...Yes.

Question No. 4 - Is your character black?

Akinator has no problems with racial profiling, we've now established that. But it's another question that will eliminate a lot of potential answers. As far as I know, Drew is not black...No.

Question No. 5 - Is your character dead?

Please, Akinator, I don't even want to think about it. Drew is not allowed to die. Never speak of this again you bastard!...No.

Question No. 6 - Is your character an actor?

Certainly not a very good one. Did you see the "Entourage" spot? But Akinator probably wants to know if Drew is an actor by profession so I said...No.

Question No. 7 - Is your character a singer, or does he work with a singer (as a songwriter, producer, musician...)?

Tough question. On the one hand, Drew was a member of One Direction. On the other hand, he has absolutely zero musical talent and his singing is physically painful to hear. Sorry, Drew. I love you but it's true. I'm gonna go with...No.

Question No. 8 - Is your character linked with sports?

Ding, ding, ding! Now we're getting somewhere. Akinator is on the scent..Yes.

Question No. 9 - Does your character currently play in a team?

In a team? No. But he plays on a team. The best team EVAR! Soooo...Yes.

Question No. 10 - Is your character an NFL player?

Oh man, Akinator is totally on to us. It's only a matter of time at this point. Funny how he immediately made the jump to NFL after asking about a team sport. He could have said MLB, NHL, NBA, but he went with NFL. Akinator knows what's up...Yes.

Question No. 11 - Is your character a patriot?

Absolutely! Drew loves America and those who serve for our country. Wait a minute! Is Akinator implying that I might be thinking of Tom Brady? Get over yourself...No.

Question No. 12 - Does your character have red markings?

Yeah, on the right side of his face. That's incredible. How the hell did Akinator know that? Something tells me that's not really what he's asking. My guess is that he's referring to team colors and that this is really a poorly worded question. Gotta be. So I'll say...No.

Question No. 13 - Did your character found a religious movement?

Some Saints fans have described the euphoria felt when the team won Super Bowl XLIV as a religious experience and Drew was definitely the leader. Must be thinking of Tebow though ...No .

Question No. 14 - Is your character linked with the colour blue?

Only when it comes to those beautiful eyes of his. But again, I think Akinator is really asking about team colors so I'm going to say...No .

Question No. 15 - Is your character Australian?

Awww crap, did I answer the earlier "patriot" question wrong? I really don't understand this question. This eliminates, like, one guy. There are a lot of other better questions to be asking here...No.

Question No. 16 - Has your character ever played on the Packers?

We're obviously back on track after that stupid Australian question. I hope Akinator's not just planning on going team by team now cause that could take a while...No.

Question No. 17 - Is your character affiliated with Atlanta?

Oh no you didn't...No.

Question No. 18 - Does your character have a funny haircut?

I just said he wasn't Australian or affiliated with Atlanta! Seriously, though, who the hell do you think Akinator has in his database under "Non-black NFL player with funny haircut?" Makes you wonder...No.

Question No. 19 - Is your character linked with the color gold?

Yes! Yes! A hundred times, yes! Well, more like old gold but we're starting to get warmer...Yes.

Question No. 20 - Does your character have a defined chin?

Dammit, Akinator, stop trying to make this about Brady! I am NOT thinking of Tom Brady! No.

Question No. 21 - Is your character ever the source of online drama?

Only, like, every single time someone mentions Drew is in decline. Still, I answered...No.

Question No. 22 - Does your character have a long name?

Long by whose standards? Kind of a weird question but I think we can all agree Drew Brees is relatively short...No.

Question No. 23 - Is your character linked with the color red?

Awww crap, did I answer the earlier "red markings" question wrong? Was Akinator actually referring to Drew's birthmark? Well, guess I better be consistent at this point...No.

Question No. 24 - Is your character a quarterback?

Call me crazy but it seems like this question should have been asked a long time ago, like after the NFL question but before the religious movement or funny haircut questions. Akinator has got to be getting close at this point...Yes.

And then...BOOM!...Akinator makes his guess and nails it!

Akinatordrewbrees_medium

Looks like Drew Brees was just too easy for the Akinator. Took a while, and he asked some weird questions, but he got it.

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