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Debbie Downer Analyzes the 2009 Saints Schedule

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The air in Who Dat Nation is electric following the release of their 2009 schedule last night. The scheduling gods have looked down upon New Orleans and apparently they have delivered us a schedule that we should be happy with.

But there's one Saints fan who is still not satisfied with the Saints schedule...Debbie Downer. Even I was actually breaking out of my self-imposed, cautiously optimistic cocoon until I listened to what she had to say about next seasons lineup and brought me back down to Earth. Check it out.


"Sure this will be Pierre Thomas' best season ever. Until he blows out his knee in week three."

"You're enjoying your day. Everything's going your way. Then along comes Deb-bie Downer. Always there to tell you 'bout a new disease. A car accident or killer bees. You'll beg her to spare you, Debbie please! But you can't stop Debbie Downer!"

Awesome 2009 schedule fact that everyone is excited about: We don't have a division game until November!

Debbie Downer says: "By the time the Saints have to play their important games half the team will already be on IR and the rookies will have hit the wall. At least Charles Grant and Will Smith will be back from their suspensions just in time to under perform."

Awesome 2009 schedule fact that everyone is excited about: We have five games against rookie head coaches!

Debbie Downer says: "The Saints were 2-2 against rookie coaches last season. Not really what I call comforting."

Awesome 2009 schedule fact that everyone is excited about: Eli Manning is making his triumphant homecoming for the first time since entering the NFL!

Debbie Downer says: "Eli will probably be so amped about this game that he'll torch the Saints for 500 plus yards and four touchdowns. Can't wait."

Awesome 2009 schedule fact that everyone is excited about: We don't have any cold weather games like in Chicago.

Debbie Downer says: "'Numbs the Word!' says The Farmers Almanac for the 2009 winter. In fact, they are 'forecasting a "numbing" winter, with below-average temperatures for at least two-thirds of the country.' Those late-season games in Washington and Carolina might not be so toasty afterall.

Awesome 2009 schedule fact that everyone is excited about: We have three primetime games!

Debbie Downer says: "Great. That just means those weeks are shorter and the Saints have less time to prepare for the following game. That will turn out well."

Awesome 2009 schedule fact that everyone is excited about: We open up the season against the 0-16 Detroit Lions! Automatic win!

Debbie Downer says: "The Lions' winless record last season means nothing in 2009. It's a new season. Every year the NFL has a Cinderalla team that surprises everyone and the Lions are primed to be that team. Besides, they have to win sometime. It's a trap."

Awesome 2009 schedule fact that everyone is excited about: We get to play the Cowboys in primetime again and whoop their butt!

Debbie Downer says: "We got rid of Mike Karney."

Awesome 2009 schedule fact that everyone is excited about: We don't have to travel an ocean just to play a game in London.

Debbie Downer says: "The Saints won that game. They ought to play more of those games."