(In which MtnExile continues his floundering attempts to replace the irreplaceable...)
I'd like to talk to you about ducts...er, I mean, the Saints' all-black uniforms. (If this isn't proof that it's the slow season, I don't know what is.) I'm not sure which I'd rather see happen: us winning the Super Bowl, or banishing the all-black, ballerina-pants look to the deepest pit of hell from which it escaped in 2006. If we never win a championship, at least I can stand to watch them; if we win the Super Bowl wearing leotards, I don't know if I'll even bother to tape it. Those uniforms are that bad.
My opinion, anyway. Which makes it right, but I digress.
I wondered what the rest of my subjects thought, so I went to Uni Watch to find out. Doing a simple search for "Saints black pants" turned up a number of threads, and the following comments are taken from several of them. Each of the following comments is from a different poster, and it's not hard to see what the common thread is:
"This is the NFL, not high school. Get rid of the black pants!"
"Agreed! They look like pajamas. In fact ALL color-on-same-color combos do. Just stop it!"
"I disagree! Of course. I like the monochromatic look, for the most part (teal Seattle is an exception), and I especially like all black. It is sleek-looking with a hint of danger. Love it."
" I think the Saints look great in the black britches."
" I’m sick of the Saints and Ravens wearing all black!"
"...the Black Pants STINK !!! especially w/o the Stripes to break up the arobic [sic] leotard look."
"Gotta disagree on the Saints all-black. TERRIBLE, especially with stripe-less pants. High school look, all the way."
"we need to work on Tom Benson and Sean Payton to get rid of those horrible black pants the Saints keep wearing."
"Amen!!! Every Sunday, I turn on the game hoping to see the gold pants. With the white jerseys, the black pants are at beast [sic] tollerable [ditto]. But with the black jerseys they’re just hideous."
"the current pants…yes…these pants, while still black, are much more preferable to this crap"
"Saints dressed like ballet dancers last night…and played like ones too."
"Saints solid black pants leaking into solid black socks - awful (just like their second half effort)!"
"I’ll second (or third, fourth, fifth…) this sentiment as well."
"The Saints played amazing even if they looked like hell"
"the Saints look awful when they wear the black pants instead of the gold"
Okay, some of those are outsiders...but it's still useful to find out what the rest of the world thinks. But how about New Orleans? A recent edition of Jeff Duncan's Mailbag elicited these comments regarding the leotard look:
"The all black uniforms or black pants are the worse uniforms in the history of sports"
"When the Saint's where black on black with no stripes on the pants, they look like a high school football team."
"I disagree with you the black on black is the best looking uniforms the Saints ever had."
"i don't care for the black pants, stripe or no stripe."
"I hate the all black look. I like the white jersey/black pant look we had around the time of the Bum Philips era."
"The black on black looks like a div II college team."
This completely unbiased and scientific study makes it obvious that the all-black look is scorned not only by native fans, but by NFL watchers in general. Why, then, does Payton insist on inflicting this sartorial torment upon us?