Oh what a difference a day makes. Actually, we can now quantify it exactly: one day is 7.14285 percent of the difference between transcendent truth and sheer stupidity.
Fourteen days ago, Jason Cole of Yahoo Sports named Drew Brees the best quarterback in the NFL. We awarded him our Sybil Fawlty Award for Achievement in the Bleeding Obvious. Today, Cole sank back into the ooze, and his density was such that he succeeded in bottoming out. The subject matter: which teams have the best running backs.
13. New Orleans Saints: Only a late-season run of big plays by Reggie Bush keeps the Saints from being ranked much lower. Yeah, yeah, the Saints manage to put together some decent rushing stats, but they’re not a running team by any stretch of the imagination. They produce numbers based on two things: The tendency of the offense to produce big leads for the running game to milk and the wide-open spaces created by New Orleans’ throw-first offense. Pierre Thomas is a nice player, but hardly a bell cow and they’re going to have to fill Mike Bell’s shoes now that he’s gone.
This is what's known as a "target-rich environment." The Saints didn't just manage to "put together some decent rushing stats": they were 6th in total yards (seven places ahead of the mighty Vikings), tied for 5th in average per attempt (fourteen places ahead of the mighty Vikings). That "nice player," Pierre Thomas? He rushed for a 5.4 average last season (a full yard per attempt better than Adrian Peterson of the mighty Vikings). And Mike Bell...fill his shoes? The ones with cleats, Jason?
Anyway, the big question for Jason Cole of Torquay: why are the Vikings ranked first and the Saints a generous and undeserved 13th? Why, because Minnesota...er, that is, the Vikings have...some of...their line is...SPLUNGE!
Jason, you showed such promise. But that's the stupidest thing I've ever heard, so get out!