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NFC South Second Lines:The Long Off-Season Hasn't Even Started Edition

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Technically, we're still the Super Bowl Champions. Might as well live it up...
Technically, we're still the Super Bowl Champions. Might as well live it up...

 

Each week, I'll put on a hazmat suit and visit websites, blogs, and message boards of the other teams in the NFC South. I'll do the work so that you don't have to.

 

After the break, you'll find what you need to know this week.

Falcons

The Falcons appear to be near a deal to extend the contract of GM Thomas Dimitroff.

This strikes me as a good move: Dimitroff built the Falcons out of the ashes of a the Michael Vick mess, dealt with Bobby Petrino's defection, and helped build the team into a nice blend of young talent and veterans.

Maybe with a new contract, Dimitroff will be able to afford an adult haircut.*

*That was a hilarious joke. I'll try to include at least one per news item. Trust me, the kids love them.

In other news, Falcons owner Arthur Blank doesn't see the team making any big changes in the offseason.

This, too, is probably a good move, despite how the team looked in their playoff loss to Green Bay. After all, why bother upgrading your players when the coaches call the game with both hands around their necks?

Panthers

The Panthers have chosen not to retain running backs coach Jim Skipper, as new coach Ron Rivera wants to bring in his own set of coaches and coordinators. Panthers fans are worried about how this will affect disaffected running back DeAngelo Williams, who apparently really liked coach Skipper.

In a related development, Panthers running back Jonathan Stewart is also disgruntled, because the team, you know, sucks.

The Panthers have also hired former 49ers offensive lineman Ray Brown as their new offensive line coach. Brown's 20-year playing career ended in 2003, and he's been coaching ever since.

We're still trying to confirm the rumor that Thomas Dimitroff has contacted Brown for tips on how to grow the patented Ray Brown "Half-fro".

Bucs

Things are pretty quiet in Bucs land right now. The team has announced the 2011 season ticket packages, with discounts of up to 30%.

State Farm immediately responded by offering even greater discounts and the ability to upgrade the Bucs' ownership by singing the State Farm song. At press time, the Bucs were still waiting to hear from the gecko, who has hopefully been taken out back and shot at this point.

Till next week...

You can follow Stuart on Twitter or listen to one of his two podcasts: The Who Dat Report or The NFC South Report.