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I Like Drew Brees, But I'm Not Sure I Want Him Having Access to My Bank Account

Bye week. Two words that make every football fan cringe. Like, "Honey, your proctologist called, and apparently I'm not the root cause of the pain in your ass." Only worse.

Derick E. Hingle-US PRESSWIRE - Presswire

My daughter was home visiting from Nashville this week, but of course the Saints had the bye, so our traditional Football Sunday feasting and family time didn't happen. Last I heard, Muffy was taking after the old man (me) and writing a letter to Goodell to voice her dissatisfaction with his inconsiderate scheduling. We'll have to wait to see how that turns out.

I had all good intentions of watching other games and reporting on them in detail, but quite frankly that seemed like an awful lot of work, so I watched the commercials instead. And seriously, you didn't expect me to watch an entire Atlanta Falcons game, did you?

That being said, here's what I paid attention to this weekend:

Peyton Is King

Peyton Manning has been the king of NFL advertising for the past decade or so, and although he took a break last year because his neck surgery prohibited him from acting, he has regained his crown with his DirectTV ads. His Little Caesar's commercial is just plain dumb, but the commercial where he takes Eli's place because Eli is getting a perm is brilliant. We've all seen the commercial, but here are some outtakes that might make your day a little less sucky.

This brings me to what me, the Missus, and Muffy, like to call the Drew Brees Checking Account Situation. I like Drew Brees. I read his book. I think he's an awesome quarterback, husband, and father and I wouldn't mind living next door to him. I think we could be very good friends, not in a creepy, stalker way or anything, but you know, I think he could bring a lot to my Friday night bowling league or even just by helping me out by lending me some of his tools now and then.

However awesome Brees might be, I'm not so sure I would trust him having access to my bank account.

We've all seen this commercial a thousand times since it first aired during last year's Super Bowl. I completely get the premise that Baylen has the leg strength to practically wipe out all of the Garden District, but I draw the line at letting one of the most prolific passers in NFL history have access to my checking account. Where I come from, if your kid kicks a football through the walls of someone's house you knock on the door and write a check. This whole texting thing to avoid confrontation is tearing at the fabric of society.

Abrupt Transition to Aaron Rogers

Aaron Rogers has brilliantly parlayed an awkward touchdown celebration into a national insurance craze, and I have to say I felt a little sorry for the guy when he did the "Discount Double Check" after a touchdown in Houston Sunday night that got called back because of a penalty. Talk about being left hanging. Packers fan or not, you have to respect a guy who doesn't take himself so seriously that he can't be teased a little.

The Point of the Entire Piece (I Unfortunately Can't Back Up With Video Evidence)

This brings me to the latest Verizon NFL commercial where the formerly mousey and now self-assured and well-groomed young lady accidentally pushes a plate of food into Brees' chest at a backyard barbeque (incidentally, one that I was not invited to). I love the fact that Brees isn't afraid to be on the wet end of a spit take. Humility like that is rare anymore.

I couldn't find the commercial on YouTube to share with you all because it's too new, so in it's place, let me share the greatest Drew Brees commercial of all time (as long as you ignore the fact that back here in the East we actually still have leaves on the trees in early September):

Luckily, the Saints have a game next week.