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Defending Your Life

I just thought I'd take this moment to address a few concerns and set the record straight. Because it seems I've upset more than a few Saints fans and received quite a bit of backlash for my witty (my own words) satire post titled "Drew Brees Suspended for Bountygate Involvement."

Which I'm totally okay with. Because my writing is so bland and unobtrusive normally, it's nice to be reminded that I've still got what it takes to ruffle some feathers. Makes me feel alive, like when people cut themselves on purpose.

But to those few people who completely missed the joke and felt the need to insult me via email, Twitter or message board, I have just one thing to say and I mean it from the bottom of my heart.

You're not the brightest crayon in the box, if you know what I mean. I'm sure you don't.

Sorry, but that's the best I could come up with. Because I'm, like, not really that, like, smart and all...

Which number is higher... @drewbrees jersey # or your IQ ‪#WhodatHater

Hey @CSCtweet is mocking Drew Brees smart on the weekend he signs his deal smart? Can you answer that question for me? Can you? Please tell

Yes, that's just some of the clever feedback I've received across the internet the past few days for my most recent satirical gem (my words again). I'm not going to link to any of these sources or tweets and give them the pleasure but I assure you they are all real.

Seems my "crude Brees joke...had poor timing."

To start with the timing was in poor taste; they ran it before 3 PM yesterday when all the Saints fans were celebrating the fact that Drew Brees has just signed a deal committing the rest of his career to the New Orleans Saints.

Who would write such an awful thing?

The author of this should get an @sswhooping for this one i dont find it funny in the least do not get sucked into this lie whodats

Well Dave Cariello can Kiss My Black & Gold then Lick My Fleur de Lis........ Yea Baby I'm BACK ;-)
He calls himself a Saints writer my azz as far as im concerned he can go to he double snakes.We had enough negative posts about the saints this off season and this put the icing on the cake!!!!

But what's interesting is that...

...that site seems to attract some odd Saints fans, most of the commenters thought it was funny, and a couple joked about Saints fans having to change their drawers after seeing the headline.

They thought it was funny!?!? You don't say!?!? Wonder where they got that crazy idea!? Could it possibly be the fact that they actually got the joke?

So for all the geniuses who clearly missed the joke then decided to alleviate their confusion with anger, please allow me to explain:

1. In comedy, timing is everything and the timing on this one was necessary. There are some who thought I should have waited a day but I stand by my decision.

2. The post really has nothing to do with Drew Brees at all. It's really an indictment on Roger Goodell and the entire Bountygate sanctions process. I merely used Drew's signing as a vehicle for delivering my insult of the commissioner. It's Goodell, after all, sounding like an idiot in the fake quote.

But many of you completely misunderstood or didn't even bother reading past the headline and quickly flew off the handle erroneously. Instead of calling you names, however, and continuing to point out how you lack the sophistication it takes to truly get my genius (still my words), I'd like to turn this into a learning experience so that you don't make the same mistake again.

Because I think you misunderstand just what it is we do here at Canal Street Chronicles. Contrary to popular belief, we are not the "National News Media." That makes statements like the following absolutely untrue.

Whatever the Saints do, the media/haters will always throw bountygate somewhere in the reporting or comments, Roger GODell has ordered it so.

it's possible that Dave Cariello may have been hired as the editor of the site simply because he had experience writing and editing, and in fact is not a Saints fan at all..

Again, we're not the media. Our contributing staff is comprised of business owners, teachers, students, musicians and more, but none of us is the media. In four years I've gotten a media credential one time. It just happened to be for the

Nor am I a professional writer/editor who was hired by a "big network of sports news sites." I took one creative writing class in college. I majored in history and minored in philosophy. Never stepped foot in a journalism or English classroom. I'm just a nerdy Saints fan who started his own blog on Blogger four years ago and was lucky enough to get asked to join SB Nation.

And we're not reporting anything. We're not breaking stories. We're not getting the scoop. We would love to, but we're not. We're just regurgitating actual reporting the professionals are doing or the random crap we find on the internet and speculating wildly about stuff we have no business even talking about. In short, we're just like you.

We just happen to do it on a larger scale than most blogs. We happen to show up on Yahoo! and Sports Illustrated and the like. That's just because we're awesome at what we do, though, and not because we're legitimate media. But it's causing some of you to hold us to some higher standard and that's a complete mistake on your part.

The other reason for misunderstanding my satirical posts is that a lot of you are simply not reading. Perusing a headline and assuming you know what a story's about will catch up with you. Instead, read the entire article. Pause to digest and reflect upon what you've just read. Then, and only then, should you share your opinion with the rest of us.

Hey, I don't mind criticism. After four years of doing this, I've gotten plenty and successfully ignored most of it. But I notice similar negative commentary around the web from time to time and I wanted to make sure I set the record straight.

I'm willing to bet a lot of other writers would probably love to address the idiocy of their readers from time to time but either don't have the balls to do it or would get fired if they did. So let this post serve as proof that we can say or do whatever we want here at CSC because we are not the legitimate media.

We're just fans with a bigger platform.