Saints vs. Chiefs: Angry Who Dat's Opponent Mailbag

Each week, the Angry Who Dat answers some e-mail questions from fans of the Saints' opposition. Read on for Episode 3, featuring some questions from fans of the Kansas City Chiefs.

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Paul Sarkezy, Kearney, MO:
"Dude, let me tell you, this bounty crap is a shame. It's just not fair that you have to start the season with an interim head coach, while your defensive coordinator that started all this tours Thailand or whatever. We Chiefs' fans feel your pain. We don't have a head coach or a defensive coordinator, either."

Zing!

Boswain Lansing, Leavenworth, KS:
"How do you think the Saints D will adapt to the orthodoxy of the Chiefs' offense?"

I said last week after the Panthers game (as I tried to talk myself off the ledge) that perhaps, just maybe, one of the issues that made Spagnuolo's new scheme look so damn bad was the fact that they had faced two weird, collegiate offenses run by fast, athletic quarterbacks who - though they are less similar than many would lazily imply - apparently learn from one another by watching tape.

Our defensive coordinator even recognized the possibility.

The orthodoxy argument has become such a meme this week that even your quarterback had to answer questions about it.

I'm still not convinced, and I've been wrong on basically everything I've said in this Q&A format, but I'll go out on a limb and say that the defense you see this week won't resemble the defense you saw in weeks one and two. If it does, we're in big trouble. With the Chiefs averaging 151 yards on the ground per game, those tackles better get it together.

Wait. How do you average 151 yards rushing, while running the ball 43% of the time, and lose both games? Wait another damn second. The Chiefs won Time of Possession in both games. And they lost twice! How is this possible?

Jimmy Farrow, Columbia, MO:
"Drew Brees looks bad, man. Do you think he bounces back this week?"

The Chiefs defense, in two games, has allowed a combined 66% completion percentage for 470 yards, 5 touchdowns, and no interceptions from Matt Ryan and Ryan Fitzpatrick, while giving up nearly as many yards on the ground as they gained. And, you know, we have Drew Brees. Even if the answer to Boswain's question is "with mediocrity," I think the Saints can pull out a win.

Sal Dontario, Lincoln, NE:
"Oooooooooo-Ooo-Oh-Oh-Ooooooooo! Oooooo-ooo-"

Stop it. That's terrible. Don't ever do that in front of people again. Your hand looks nothing like a tomahawk.

Cochon Patonne, George Town, Grand Cayman:
"What up, dude? The weather is perfect down here and this blonde is stupid hot, bro. I've been looking at some film from the Chiefs' - er, um, my Chiefs' first two games, and I really think that the Saints offense will take some deep shots early. If they can get an early lead, and get the safties on their heels, Carmichael will probably capitalize on a second and short yardage by calling in Power Z Action Six Y Flex Half Flat Bingo X 3 Package Right Zoom, am I right?"

If you say so, Cochon.

Rachel Cassaway, Kansas City, MO:

"I think your coach is dead. He looks like he's dead. Definitely not alive."

Is there a question here?

"Well, how does a dead coach motivate players?"

This has been hot topic during the national "let's pile on the Saints and talk about how they're doomed without a coach!" segments. But it's a lazy, nihilist conclusion for a Saints fan. Kromer's not a fire and brimstone guy. He's not out there screaming like Payton would be (or for that matter, as Gregg Williams would be). But I don't buy that Sean Payton's absence is so damn important (not during the game - gameplanning is another discussion), and here's why:

1. Steve Spagnuolo and Pete Carmichael are calling the plays. What is there left for Kromer to do, throw a challenge flag? Call a timeout?

2. Curtis Lofton and Drew Brees. Oh, yeah, you don't even have to call timeouts. You have veteran freakin' field generals out there running their squads. Wait, what about the offensive line?

3. Kromer has time to coach the offensive line. Because, you know, those other two things. If he's not making whatever adjustments a line coach typically makes, he should be, damnit. There's nothing else for him to do out there. Well, except look like he's dead. But what about motivation?

4. Professional Football Players are grown men. They're being paid millions to play a game they've been playing since they were four feet tall. You're telling me they can't perform without some douche coach screaming like an idiot on the sidelines every time they make the smallest mistake?

"Are you calling Sean Payton an idiot douche?"

No, of course not, why would - you know what? Just stay with me here.

There is nothing, NOTHING that Sean Payton could do differently to make Joe Morgan or Lance Moore catch a ball. To make Drew Brees throw it out of bounds instead of at the wide receiver that's behind a defender. Those are execution issues, and coaching can only do so much.

"Sean Payton would have predicted the future, Angry Who Dat. He saw that coming, and he would have said, hey, Lance, catch the ball, because you deserve to be here! and then Lance would have scored like 5 touchdowns."

This is basically the argument folks are making when they say Payton would make a difference in execution. Get the hell out of here. Lance just has to catch the ball, and Drew just has to throw it away, and the defensive line just has to get upfield. Execution.

Mitt Douglass, Creston, IA:
"Remember when you guys had Willie Roaf, but your locker room was garbage and he got hurt so the Saints traded him to Kansas City and he went to four straight Pro Bowls, and then in the Hall of Fame enshrinement he said the Chiefs' offensive line was the best group he'd ever been a part of? LOL!"

Yeah, damn. Poor Willie Roaf. He never really played for an actual winner. Don't give me that nonsense about 13-3, you were one-and-done in the playoffs. It didn't matter. The guy played 13 seasons in the NFL. Here are the quarterbacks he protected: Wade Wilson, Mike Buck, Steve Walsh, Jim Everett, Heath Shuler, Billy Joe Tolliver, Danny Wuerffel, Billy Joe Hobert, Kerry Collins, Jake Delhomme, Jeff Blake, Aaron Brooks, and Trent Green. Brutal. But he protected them well! And, if you didn't notice, 92% of the starting quarterbacks he played for were Saints. Boom!

He was a stand up guy, too. So yeah, he had to say something nice about Kansas City. But here's an exhaustive list of those people who hear "Willie Roaf" and immediately think "Chiefs":

1. The Chiefs

2. Chiefs Fans

That's all I got.

But, hey, at least Willie got to win a playoff game. Right, Tony Gonzalez?

Jacob Burnmeyer, Topeka, KN:
"I can't wait to get to the game Sunday! My first trip to New Orleans! What should I expect that's different from Arrowhead?"

Hey, how'd you know I've been to Arrowhead? Weird. Yeah, I checked out Arrowhead in 2008. It was my first road trip ever (for the record, I'm 4-0 on the road). Very, very nice people - Saints fans, treat them right! But it's very different, Jacob. See, that gigantic parking lot around the stadium that's one-third full on gamedays? We don't have that. You'll have to just kind of wander the CBD until you smell food and hear music. Go that way. There won't be any parking 15 minutes before kickoff, sorry. Oh, and we actually have some pretty good food, too.

Yeah, I know, the kind folks in Kansas City all wanted me to taste their delicious barbecue. I even talked one of them into giving me the recipe. "Burn everything, and pour ketchup on it." Good lord, that stuff was terrible. Maybe I visited the tailgate spots of every terrible cook in Missouri, I don't know. The beer was good!

What else? Oh, there won't be nearly as much elbow room when you get inside. You might even have to sit where your ticket says you're supposed to sit, instead of moving to the empty seats farther down.

But get some food before you go inside. I'll give you one thing - the food inside Arrowhead blows away the garbage we're selling in the Dome. You should be ashamed, person who decides what the concession stands sell.

Walking Bear Woodsmith, Kansas City, KS:
"So what's going down Sunday, Angry Who Dat?"

I'm so sick of these. I'm 0-2 on game predictions and something like 2-15 on the specifics. I'll get drunk. The Saints will win. Or I'll leap off the terrace. That's all I got.