G**-d*****, you panty-waisted lollygagging nimrods!!! Twenty-two accepted penalties from 26 penalties actually called against you in the game????? Are you f***** kidding me? That is beyond unacceptable!!!!! Finish your craptastic JimmyJohn's s*** sandwiches strong and then give me "up and downs" until you barf it all up. Then take five ALS ice bucket challenges right in the family jewels, ya hear??? And the first guy who whimpers or cries gets to detail Round Ryan's van with his bare hands and no gas mask tonight. Buncha borons. Get to it!!!
Hey, Vitt. Get over here. When they're done with that s***, wake up Patches and put 'em through their paces, Dodgeball-style. You get me? Do you like it, or love it?
If they can dodge traffic, then maybe they can avoid STUPID F****** PENALTIES!!!!
Baby Huey, come and get me in a couple of hours when these M*****F****** have collapsed. I'll be re-watching the first few Falcons 'Hard Knocks' episodes and laughing my ass off while CrossFitting off the edge of my desk.
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Now that you're done with getting stupid penalties called on you, we're going to get down to the real business of this final week of training camp - learning to sleep, eat, walk, and breathe CSC's Game Recap Coverage.
Wait a minute, I smell fresh meat. Hey, Beckum!! You need to play catchup, so here's what you missed before you got signed last week:
Load it on your iPad and study up, son!
Alright, that's better. NOW we're ready to get started.
When you wake up on the morning after the Saints game, that's when the Game Recap Coverage kicks into high gear, starting with Andrew Juge's Saints player grades, which come in two parts, Offense and then Defense & Special Teams. Andrew, who is a mainstay of the Chronic Podcasts and maintains his own blog, The Saints Nation, watches the games live, then re-watches them while he completes his analysis of each player's performance, which he then provides in capsule form per player with a letter grade assigned, as well. In addition, he names a player of the game in each post, and as the season progresses, he includes a cumulative GPA for each player, and then names players of the year at the end.
Satch's Who Dat Say!?!?!! post, which is essentially a Fleur-De-Links on
steroids, er, natural supplements, includes all the links, quotes, videos, and transcripts from the immediate post-game coverage. It showed up around mid-day or early afternoon sometimes or first thing in the morning after, and you could easily spend your whole morning, lunch hour and part of your nap time chasing all these links, watching all the videos and reading all the transcripts, so be careful when you start digging into it.
If you're looking for a taste of the Saints Home Game Experience but can't actually go to a Saints home game yourself, then you'll want to check out Dave's Must-See Photo posts, Also known as The View From Section 140. In these, he shares all the photos he takes while attending Saints games in the Dome (with oft-clever captions).
The View From... feature is also open for business to any CSCer who attends a Saints game and chronicles his/her experience in photos and bullet points in a Fanpost for us all to enjoy. The first link back there is my version from the Saints-Rams game of 2011, and here's Stu's - Well, That Sucked. After seeing the final result of Stu and I meeting up before that game, we have vowed NEVER to meet for a Saints-Rams game again.
Here's an example of JR's Film Study piece on the blitzes used in the Bears game last year, and we also have the Predictions Contest Result post, compiled by Dave, and then voted on by the peanut gallery. Tee is going to keep us up to speed on the ongoing development of all our rookies with his Rookie Rundowns. From time to time we'll get a Player Snap Count By Position post, too. Twitter Recaps will probably also make an odd appearance in the post-game afterglow occasionally, like this one from after the Saints Thursday Night Football win over Atlanta.
Another staple of this part of the week is The Chronic Podcast, in which Ralph, Dave, Kevin, and Andrew (and the occasional Special Guest) break down the Saints, NFL, and Middle East politics. One of those is a lie. This podcast does not take anything seriously. These will appear at least weekly, with the now and again appearance of a surprise immediate post-game podcast when the muse so moves them.
This segment of coverage is rounded out by the stable of contributors bringing us such posts as B-Dog's mythbusting expose on how the Saints don't actually suck on the road, Brian's piece on Charles Brown's performance at LT in 2013, Cory's Something To Prove article from before the first Panthers game last season, and Travis' new feature, a quarterly "State of the Saints" that will include injury updates, notable trends of the last four games, and playoff race implications.
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So, hang in there while you power through this final week of CSC Virtual Training Camp and be ready to hit Week One of the regular season with Falcon feathers between your teeth and bloody, severed talons in your hands - it's GO TIME!