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My Application for General Manager of the New Orleans Saints

Mickey Loomis has lost control of the New Orleans Saints. Restructures, free agent busts, multiple (count them, MULTIPLE) missed draft picks led to a disappointing 2015. This GM has been doing it from an armchair for years. It's time to throw my hat into the ring for General Manager of the Saints.

Derick E. Hingle-USA TODAY Sports

Dear Mr. Tom Benson (and whom else this may concern),

Socrates spent his entire life preaching that true knowledge is the admission that one has no knowledge at all.  That our view of the world should be ever-expanding, and that the more one accepts that they know nothing, the closer they come to knowing everything.

Socrates was wrong.

After years of watching Saints' General Manager Mickey Loomis restructure contracts, sign free agents that simply didn't pan out, and generally disregard the idea of a salary cap, I simply cannot stand idly by and watch him run the Saints into the ground any more.  Below is my application for General Manager of the New Orleans Saints.  I expect to be appointed before March 10, so as to mitigate further mismanagement of this team come Free Agency.

My first qualification is that I have a PhD in hindsight.  I can look back and see every move that worked and every move that didn't for the Saints.  Letting Malcolm Jenkins go and play a full season at a high caliber in Philadelphia while signing All-Pro Jairus Byrd for more money, only for Byrd to get injured halfway through the season?  Who could possibly have seen that coming?  Not me, but I saw it happen.  Therefore, I can say right now, definitively, that that was a bad move.  What was that?  Would I have done the same?  We're on to 2015.  I mean really.  Pierre Warren?  It's not like he played at a high level in the CFL and deserved a shot in the next logical step up.  And Mark Ingram nearly reached 1,000 yards this year!  Underachieving in previous years aside, how do you not pick up the option on a near 1,000 yard rusher's contract?  There hasn't been a 1,000 yard rusher in New Orleans since Deuce.  DEUCE!  Don't even get me started on Junior Galette and Cam Jordan.  Never mind that they both had over 10 sacks in 2013, take it one year at a time Mickey!  Their woeful numbers in 2014 tell the whole story.  It was a knee jerk reaction to players at a premium position, and pretending otherwise is futile.

These same tactics apply to my drafting process.  Analytics and everything like them have no place in drafting.  Everything I do is based on the eye test. 2015 me would draft 2014 Odell Beckham Jr. in a heartbeat!  Did you see the guy?  He's an athletic freak.  Brandin Cooks is good, but I would take the Offensive Rookie of the Year every single time.  Over half of his undrafted free agents don't even make the team!  So why even waste money on these guys?  To give them a chance to blow it in the NFL?  To give some player a chance to achieve his lifelong dream?  I view these players as business expenditures, rather than people, and that's what it takes to get ahead in this business.

One day, I promise, there will be a Moneyball type movie made about my ability to reevaluate moves.  If I could manage the 2014 Saints from 2015, the 2014 Saints would have been the Super Bowl contenders that they were promised to be.  All Loomis does now is make player friendly contracts that he restructures to become team friendly in the future.  That's not sustainable.  Eventually, everyone gets paid.  That's why I'm going to negotiate like there aren't 31 other teams interested in signing players.  They'll respect that gumption and sign on with New Orleans, making the Saints the true terrors of the NFC South.

Loomis, it's been fun.  You gave us a Super Bowl in Super Bowl XLIV and made the Saints into a team worth caring about.  But your methods are dated.  Looking at the past to make wild speculative "what if" moves is the future.  It's about time that a true fan managed the team, rather than some suit in the so called "business" world.  By caring about players, you're ignoring the core concept of the world business.  I fully expect Mr. Loomis's resignation within the week, although I will take a forced step down if need be.  I may not understand guaranteed or dead money, but I know what cheap players did well last year and will consider that heavily in my offers to them in the near future.

Thank you for your consideration and inevitable offer,


Kevin Skiver