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Sean Payton to Star in "Zoolander 2"

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Despite not being the originator of Ben Stiller's famous "Blue Steel" face (as seen in Stiller's 2001 movie Zoolander, Saints head coach Sean Payton has perfected the look and has been casted to replace Stiller as the titular Derek Zoolander.

Kim Klement-USA TODAY Sports

Ben Stiller has confirmed a sequel to 2001 hit movie "Zoolander" starring himself as the titular character.  Stiller will not reprise the directorial role that he had in the original, and director Justin Theroux (American Psycho [seriously, he was an actor], will take the head on the project.

Theroux has already recasted Saints' head coach Sean Payton as the lead for the movie, stating the Payton has the perfect look for the part.

"He's one part smug, one part befuddled on the sideline, all the time," Theroux said.  "He also coaches New Orleans, and my name sounds French so I figured 'Eh, what the hell.'"

Payton has already stated that he plans on restarting the Bounty Program that got him suspended for the entirety of 2012 in order to make room in his busy schedule.

"Coaching takes up a ton of time, and so does acting," Payton said.  "Honestly, I feel the Commissioner's office breathing down my neck as it is, and Justin has been very clear on the filming schedule.  I figure that a suspension for the duration of the 2015 season will be sufficient to get the heavy legwork of filming out of the way."

Theroux has already rained praise upon his new star, citing his ridiculous work ethic and propensity to take the reigns on the filming process.

"He keeps talking about all of these weird things like 'end arounds' and 'screens,'" Theroux said, looking confused.  "I mean, Christian [Bale] killed most of his co-stars in American Psycho, and I was never nearly as terrified of him as I am of Sean.  Owen Wilson has repeatedly emailed me expressing regret for not taking the role of Wes Anderson's remake of The Midnight Coterie Of Sinister Intruders."

The NFL office was not available for comment, although their voicemail message was "brb, suspending Sean lol," followed by a sound that sounded suspiciously like a champagne bottle popping open.