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Coby Fleener will EAT next week

My suggestion is greens with a little low fat dressing...

Troy Taormina-USA TODAY Sports

The New Orleans Saints face the Atlanta Falcons on Monday Night Football this week. Do you recall how badly Benjamin Watson gashed the Atlanta Falcons last season?

In week 6 of 2015. Watson put up 127 yards and a TD on 10 catches and contributed to both ending Atlanta's undefeated streak as well to their ultimate slide to inevitable mediocrity. Watson then further piled on against the Dirty Birds with 6 catches for 59 yards and a TD the final game of the season.

Obviously we didn't make the playoffs in 2015 at 7-9 but we swept the Falcons. Always a treat.

Well, guess what, Falcons?! Though we lost Watson to free agency and though he very unfortunately lost his season to an achilles tear, we signed former Indianapolis Colts TE Coby Fleener!

Thus far in the season Fleener has just 35 yards on 3 catches, therefore casting doubt upon signing the friggin guy in  the first place (especially at $36 million). Many of us saw his upside despite grimacing at the price tag. He's really not bad - we know as much.

So coming off of an 0-2 start to the season, people are on edge. What if we lose to Atlanta in New Orleans?!

Well, I'm here to attest to the fact that Fleener will absolutely EAT next week.

  • On Sunday(the night before the game), Coby will possibly have a delicious Cobb salad with a nice blue cheese dressing and bruschetta. He'll wash everything down with a diet iced tea and maybe one finger of a Kit Kat bar if he wants something sweet.
  • On Monday (the afternoon before the game), Coby will perhaps start with a Moroccan-style vegetarian couscous, but there's definitely a strong chance a member of the Saints coaching staff will show up with a box of frozen taquitos, a sixer of Arizona Iced Tea (he loves iced tea?) and tubs of guac and sour cream. Well, Coby might just eat many taquitos.
Also, Fleener will post at least 120 yards and 2 TDs against Atlanta in the Dome. Who dat!!!