We are mere days away from the beginning of the NFL regular season, and hopes are as high as they will be all season for many fans. Some fans will inevitably face soul-crushing disappointment with their team’s performance, but there is still a way out. A hopeful, promising light at the end of the tunnel: fantasy football.
Ah yes, that sweet Elysium where the perfect team can be assembled and carry you into the promised land of bragging rights, a $120 champion’s prize, and a full-sized replica WWE World Heavyweight Champion belt. But before you can take your first step into utter domination over your coworkers, family members, college buddies, or church posse, it all begins with a killer team name, one whose pun force is so strong it adds a 10% bonus to your week’s point total. Proving your wittiness to the competition pretty much assures that they will leave a considerable amount of fantasy points sitting on their bench on Sundays merely out of respect.
The problem is that generating great puns for your team name is no easy task. Not everyone has a degree in English. I do, and I am here for you. I have generated a list of fantasy team names all making some sort of pun off of a Saints player’s names from Drew Brees and Alvin Kamara to Adam Bighill and Al-Quadin Muhammad. And it’s entirely free of charge. You can even tell your buddies you thought of it yourself. Let’s proceed:
- Ginn and Juice - laid back, with my mind on my money, and my money on my mind
- Jeezum Peats - for those of you who don’t have a potty mouth
- Chevy Kamaras - they’ve got great acceleration
- Hooman Rights - this is something we should all fight for
- Bow and Vaccaros - shoot your shot
- Anzalone’s Jabronis - ready to take all you fools to Pound Town
- Need 4 Snead - the movie franchise they should have made...
- Vonn Diesel - ...and the star we all deserve
- Thunder Down Unger - because Unger Games is sooo last year
- Come at me Breaux - just please don’t go for the legs...
- Dueling Banjos - our deliverance from special teams ineptitude
- Crawley in my Skin - these wounds, they will not heal
- Deez Lutz - get your hot, salty Lutz!
- Swann Song - we could all do better
- I Love Lampman - LOUD NOISES!!!
- Yo Adrian - I did it!
- Marshon Manhunter - a true hero
- The Brees Knees - the best thing since sliced bread
- Ramczyk Yourself Before You Wreck Yourself - good life advice for everyone
- Over the Bighill/King of the Bighill - for all you older folks
- Ramczyk’s Mix - a staple of every Wisconsin party’s snack selection
- Here It Goes A-Ginn - not my best effort
- Mean Quadin Fighting Machine - it’s also punny because he punched his college roommate
- Mr. Fleen - he needs to clean up his game tbh
- Lutz Get Down to Business - to defeat the Huns
- The Dogs of War-ford - and cry HAVOC!
- Warford What Is It Good For?
- Go PJ, That’s My PJ - a name we can all get down with
- Fleen on Me - ~~on 3rd and long~~
- Breesus, King of the Drews - may we kneel before our savior
- Fruit of the Loomis - undergarments for those in cap hell
- Looney Kuhns - that’s all folks!
Hopefully one of those makes all your dreams come true. If you wish to bestow your brethren with a killer fantasy team name of your own creation, by all means comment it below. I wish you many blessings as you venture once more into fantasy football season. May the odds be ever in your favor.