The Mercedes-Benz Superdome will once again play host to WWE’s premier event, WrestleMania, this Sunday. While Sundays in the Dome are normally reserved for the New Orleans Saints, this offseason Sunday will see Vince McMahon bring his cast of colorful characters into the beloved building in the heart of New Orleans. Last time WrestleMania made its way to the Superdome (in 2014), I wrote an article like this, wondering which Saint at the time would make the best wrestling character. The answer in 2014 was glaringly obvious: Junior Galette.
Junior Galette with the Saints in 2014 was the easy choice for a WWE character. He was colorful, unhinged, and had the look. In fact, I even paired him up with his defensive coordinator, Rob Ryan as his manager, complete with a tacky shirt and six-pack of beer in hand. What I failed to recognize then that became glaringly obvious later on is that those two, especially Galette, were natural heels.
It was only a matter of time before Galette and Ryan turned heel on Who Dat Nation, turning the cheers for the supposed babyfaces into choruses of jeers. Their heelish tendencies were overlooked at the time because they were one of ours, but a lot has changed since those days. Now, in 2018, we need to find a new Saint that would entertain in the squared circle, a true Black and Gold babyface for the Superdome crowd. The answer in 2018 is also easy, but in a much different way than 2014.
The answer is Alvin Kamara. Sure, Kamara isn’t the huge wildman like Galette, but wrestling has also changed a lot since four years ago. Kamara easily fits the role of the entertainer the WWE and its fans covet nowadays, charisma and character over brute strength (well, mostly). He would blend seamlessly with the hyper-popular team, The New Day. Kamara coming down the aisle alongside Big E, Kofi, and Woods would be a sight to behold. The group tossing insane amounts of AirHeads out to the crowd as they hit the ring, brandishing their dazzling smiles and magnetic personalities along the way. Alvin and The New Day go together like pancakes and syrup.
Come to think of it, WWE should bring in Kamara, Galette, and Ryan for WrestleMania this Sunday. WrestleMania has been built on celebrity appearances as well as matches featuring athletes. Muhammad Ali, Rickey Jackson, Lawrence Taylor, Floyd Mayweather, Shaquille O’Neal, Rob Gronkowski, the list goes on and on. They could make a big angle out of it and get a two-minute match to please the locals in attendance and watching at home. Pandering to the local market is a wrestling staple.
This thing writes itself, go ahead and book a match between babyface Alvin Kamara and heel Junior Galette right now, Vince. I’d imagine Junior would do it. That guy’s looking for a contract from just about anyone right now. He could bring along Rob Ryan to be in his corner, as no one’s beating down his door either. Now many of you are thinking: “This is madness, you cant put Kamara in a ring with a crazy person like Galette, he could get injured!”. To that I say: It’s a work. Kamara wouldn’t have to take a single bump and he’d walk out with a victory. Imagine it, a scenario where the Saints’ newest hero topples the franchise’s current arch-villain.
Here’s your “popcorn” match: Junior heads to the ring in all white with shades on, talking trash to the fans along the entrance ramp, followed closely by Rob Ryan in a severely distressed hawaiian shirt, holding a case of PBR, jeers cascading down upon them both. Next, Kamara hits the ring to a chorus of cheers, raining AirHeads on the adoring crowd. The bell rings and immediately Galette goes for the killshot, Kamara ducks the attempt and proceeds to run circles around the bewildered Galette. In attempting to get ahold of Kamara, Galette quickly blows up due to his pronounced lack of functional Achilles tendons. After grasping his sides and gasping for air, he goes for his trademark weapon, yelling at Rob Ryan to get him his belt, which is comically difficult to remove from his waist. Galette then snatches the belt from Ryan’s Cheetos-dusted grasp, rears back with it and lunges at Kamara with all of his might, simultaneously rupturing both Achilles tendons in the process. With Galette writhing in pain in the center of the ring, Kamara simply places his foot on Junior’s chest as the ref makes the 3-count. The babyface prevails, the heel is vanquished and the Superdome crowd pops with approval. Two minutes, tops.
Alvin Kamara gets my vote for Saints superstar that would make for an entertaining WWE Superstar. Well, it’s all fiction, but so is the strange and entertaining world of pro wrestling. If wrestling is your thing, enjoy WrestleMania 34 from New Orleans this Sunday. If its not, don’t worry, the traveling WWE carnival will move along after Tuesday night and we can continue to countdown the days until the Draft. Which current Saint do you think would fit perfectly in WWE? Tell us in the comments below!