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What to watch on TV today

I can’t think of anything, can you?

fuse Top 20 Countdown Taping Photo by Cindy Ord/Getty Images

It’s just another boring Sunday without New Orleans Saints football, so I figured I would stop by and give everyone suggestions for what to possibly watch on cable TV later this evening. Here are a few options:

Premiere Of HBO’s ‘True Detective’ Season 3 - Arrivals Photo by Frazer Harrison/Getty Images

On HBO, starting at 5:45p.m. CST, you can catch episode 3 of the new season of True Detective, starring Mahershala Ali and Carmen Ejogo.

Episode 4 follows directly after, with the premier of episode 5 at 7:45 p.m.

True TV instead of True Detective your preference, though? Don’t worry. I’ve got you covered. On the Discovery Health channel, starting at 5:00p.m. CST, there is a two-hour marathon of Hoarding: Buried Alive.

If you’re looking for movie selections, Fuse.TV has a Resident Evil marathon through 8:30p.m. with Resident Evil: Retribution. But do you need something more family friendly? From 3:45p.m. to 8:20p.m., you can catch Finding Nemo and Finding Dory back-to-back on Freeform.

The 9th Annual Shorty Awards - Teal Carpet Arrivals Photo by Jason Kempin/Getty Images for Shorty Awards

If you’re just looking for something absolutely disgusting to watch, there are plenty of choices. CBS could be one option for something to watch to make you throw up in your mouth, but another option could be the TLC special, Dr. Pimple Popper: The Poppy Bowl. Yes, it’s exactly what it sounds like - popping pimples, zits, and other absolutely hilarious and mouth-watering medical procedures.

Now I know what you’re thinking: “But Dunz, what if I want to watch sports? What if I want to watch the absolute best at their craft duke it out for the ultimate prize?”

Not to fear! I know exactly what you’re talking about:

NHL Charity Shootout - Final Table Photo by Harry How/Getty Images

The World Series of Poker’s Main Event starts on ESPN2 at 5:00p.m. CST. Or maybe you meant UFC Unleashed: Silva vs Weidman, on ESPN at 6:00p.m. Or maybe bowling is your style, and you prefer the PBA Lubbock Open on FS1 at 5:00. That’s still not what you were looking for? Fine. What about the PGA Tour? The Waste Management Phoenix Open is on for five hours starting at 5:30p.m. on the Golf channel. Still no? Wow, you’re difficult to please. I know, this one is it for sure: The Puppy Bowl XV airs for two hours on the Animal Planet channel at 5:00 this evening.

If you can’t find anything out of what I’ve suggested above, there’s just no pleasing you. I can’t think of anything else worth watching on cable today. I have seen a lot of people on the Twitterverse tweeting something about watching the “#superbowl” today, but I’m not quite sure what they mean.

There’s only one “Superb Owl” thing I can think of.

Oh well.