Last week was supposed to be the Christmas special Santa delivered for Saints fans but oh what a Christmas miracle Sunday night was.
Chauncey Gardner-Johnson is definitely going on the nice list.
See below for a full text of “T’Was The Week Before Christmas”:
T’was the week before Christmas
When all through Tampa Bay
Not a cannon was firing
And all their fans were stupidly wearing red.
The NFC South Champions shirts were stored off in care
in hopes that a win soon would be there.
The fans were snuggled all in their seats,
with “WE DAT” jokes in the drafts of their tweets.
And Brady in his makeup, and Bruce in his Kangol cap
rushed to the field...not knowing that a— was about to get waxed.
When out in the tunnel there arose such a clatter,
Bucs fans rose to their feet to see what was the matter.
When what to Bucs fans wondering eyes should appear,
but a team full of bad a—es and an all too familiar cheer.
With no Payton or Jameis, yet no excuses or complaints
They knew in a moment... it must be those Saints!
More rapid than Falcons, the defense they came
and Dennis Allen whistled and shouted and called them by name:
“Now Demario! Now Chauncey!
Now, Jordan and Kwon!
On, Davenport! On, Lattimore!
On, Jenkins and Baun!
To the top of their field
like a black and gold storm
Now sack away! Sack away!
Sack away Tom!
As dry leaves that before that wild hurricane fly,
when they hit Mr. Brady, to the refs he would cry.
So sideline to sideline they ran, and they flew,
with turnovers galore, and Gardner Johnson talking s— too.
And then, in a twinkling, they heard the analysts give their expertise
for all picked them to win, except for the GOAT Drew Brees!
As Bucs fans began to wonder, if the Saints were their father
down the uprights came field goals, from one Brett Maher.
He was dressed in white and gold, from his head to his foot,
and who would have known that 9 points would be all that it took.
A bundle of three and outs, gave the Bucs a chance to come back
but tried as he might, Brady could not escape the sacks.
His eyes–how they twinkled! His dimples, how mad!
His face red like roses, as he threw his Microsoft Tablet iPad!
His droll little mouth cursed out the team
and the tears in his eyes, was that of Saints fans dreams.
He lost his wide receivers, those injuries they felt
and Saints fans laughed when they saw him, in spite of their selves.
(Seriously cry me a river, Bucs fans. Have you seen our injury report all season?)
As the Saints celebrated, while the stadium sat there stunned in their all red
soon let Bucs fans know, the result would be something they all dread.
Saints fans said not a word, they knew Tampa was light work
as Bucs fans grew angrier and called us some jerks.
They cried how they win the games that matter, and how getting swept was their goal
And blah blah blah something about this game being the Saints’ “Super Bowl”
(I mean they said that in October too, don’t they know you can’t use that joke twice if you...never mind)
The fans headed for the exits, as the Bucs offense begged for survival
For Bucs fans sadly realized, they will never be our rivals.
But they heard the Saints exclaim, as they danced off the field
“Happy Christmas to all, hey Bucs fans, we just swept you with Trevor Siemian and Taysom Hill.”
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